Archive for the ‘SITH-Related’ Category


Wow…it as been awhile, hasn’t it?
I thought that this blog would be full of constant posts about my progress as a Force-Realist, but in reality, there is not too much to report anymore. Don’t get me wrong…I could report any number of things that are not Force-Related as this is supposed to be “my challenge”…a blog about my life and how it has changed. But I guess, because of recent events (recent as of October last year), I have been holding out for that one big post about it all…once everything falls into place, I can let everyone know of the events that transpired and that changed me forever. But, for now, I just have another handful of updates for you.

So first…let me cover “Exercise”:

So…to put it simply: “I got fat”.
Some of it was pure laziness on my part, but then the other part was that while I was in Germany, I was not taking the best care of my body, and when I came back to the USA, it caught up with me. In Germany, I was only eating maybe 1-2 meals a day…and they had little to no substance to them. I would snack on Pizza for 3 days, and eat eggs and zucchini every day but even with that, depression, stress, and being sick all the time was making me lose weight. I did not want to ask my (now ex) lover for help because then she would usually scream at me, saying I was too expensive or that I could not take care of myself…and if her and I were dating at the time, she would then proceed to break up with me…and it was always just a hassle and mess that I did not want.

So now, as mentioned before, I am back in the USA…and with full meals again, eating 3-meals a day and then some…my body blew up like a balloon. My skin stretched…my belly got stretch marks, then my arms, armpits, breasts, legs, and even in my various other pelvic regions. These are things that I have never suffered before (well, except minor belly stretch marks from being an obese teenager). So, while my new life has been happy…and I am now well-taken-care of by an amazing woman that has healed me mentally and otherwise…well, the stretch marks and the weight has had me down. But, it was hard finding the time to fix the issue…between working and then keeping up a household for my partner, it all became too much. And I let myself go a little farther. Well, needless to say, here recently, I quit my job.

They sent me to the hospital because they would not let me go home when I could not breathe and was having severe chest pains.
And when I finally snapped at my partner because I was working every day (went 10 days without a single day off), she told me to quit…and she told me to focus on my career. But, that’s just the thing: “What do I want to do with my life?”

It’s never been as simple as saying I like this field and could be this-or-branch out into-that. Hm…instead, the best way to put it is that I’m good at a lot of things, enjoy a lot of things, and therefore could do a lot of things, and because my options are so open, it’s hindering. I went to college before, and it turned out that Psychology was not my thing, Human Services I disliked even more, and then my Music Therapy classes were going to cost more than what they were worth. Gen Ed was an option sure…but after 3 failed majors I was already $15,000 in debt and decided not to go back to school until I decided what I wanted to do…..

Trying to cut a long-story short, my partner finally did what she thought was best, asked me what all things I wanted to do, threw those options in a hat, and I picked “Police Academy”. This would be good for me because now I was on the path of getting fit…or was going to be. My partner (a soldier and also wanting to better herself), got us a Gym Membership and it was something we could do together. But, going to the Gym would not be enough. To start me off right, my partner got me some things from the GNC to aid me in my transformation.


  1. The firming butter is for the stretch marks. I apply it every night after my shower and already I have seen an improvement.
  2.  Ultra Mega Green is your basic women’s multivitamin to take in order to boost multiple things like immune system, boost your energy and metabolism the natural way and to fight fat and etc. They generally recommend this at any GNC because if you take diet pills it will sap nutrients from your body. This multi-vitamin taken 2-times a day replenishes what the diet pills might strip you of.
  3. Satisfive is a powder added to water and is drank along with meals to keep cravings away. I am hypoglycemic and I get hungry often…even after eating. It’s terrible getting hungry right before bed because hunger turns into pain for me, and then I can’t sleep. But this power made with spinach and other things, turns to gel and wraps around whatever I am eating…causing it to digest just a little slower and makes me feel fuller for longer. So far it works. But I have only been drinking it once a day because it tastes pretty gross and doesn’t mix as well in water as it says. But, you can also mix it with juices, and I want to start doing that once I find the perfect juice that isnt full of sugar and actually has some nutritional benefit to it.
  4. The Performix SST Glow for women is my diet pill…has lypowheat in it, gives me an energy boost…and while more expensive, the glow-version has less caffiene as to not give me the severe jitters when taking it. It’s something very similar to what I took back when I was still living in Indianapolis. I know it works, and I trust it…but getting used to it can be hard. The key is to stay hydrated else you feel sick…but I hate water…so that part of it all has been difficult.

All-in-all I know people are going to tell me: “You don’t need that stuff to get fit…” but, everyone is different. Let me do things my way. As long as I am improving and I’m doing it in a way that is not harming me, there should be no problem. Still, I plan to chronicle my journey on here as I make changes in my life. I got the app S-fit on my phone and need to use it more often. Also, my Father got me a Garmin Vivo-fit-2 watch which syncs to said-app and keeps track of different things applying to fitness as well. So I need to do this. I need to get fit and healthy again.


Now I can talk about Sithism, YouTube…and Force-Realism in General:

There was a moment where I woke up on morning and I just felt “powerful”. I could not explain it…but I flt that rush of a Sith Lord again. It came after a meditation session in which I saw Ba’al again…in his masculine-demonic form. He roared at me as my “core” burst into flames. I felt alive again, drawn to The Force again. Somehow this lead me to go back to all the Sith Temples I had studied at…and upon seeing them inactive as per usual, I then found myself wandering back to the Sith Academy out of curiosity.

For awhile the Sith Academy had long gone astray from the power they used to hold and to have. They started making sub-religions, sub-cults in which they would hide behind different masks and act like different people. Most took it as role-playing and just grown men trying to make a quick buck…and it was true. They would recruit people into these different cults and act like they were all aligned with one another and that they had some sort of Army. But, at long last they came back around to Sithism, to Sith Academy and the vision of Darth Omega. They built upon their curriculum, made it more strict, tied it more to social media…actually published a book (if you could call it that). And I reached out to them for a free book to see if maybe they finally came around and were once again the power I knew them as.

They were not…
…they continued to disappoint, still seeming as a gimmick for wealth. Immortalized only in how others joked about them and laughed at what they were teaching. For them, Sithism is blindly following two leaders that have no way to attain the goals they set. And so, I decided that, as a Darth…it is my job to set an example. To get my own word out there. Thus, I made a new YouTube Channel under the name “Larken EshBa’al”

Darth EshBa'al

This channel based only in Sithism is part of a larger project I call “Force Talk”. As someone who knows both sides of The Force (Light and Dark) and who has dabbled along with people claiming to be Je’daii, I made “Force Talk” to answer questions people might have about Force-Realism or Force-Religions/Lifestyles. But, the project was too big to handle on my own.

Force Talk was shut down not long after I started building it, because, even with a script written…as someone more associated with the Dark side of The Force, I just did not feel right tackling Jedi-Realism and other subjects i might not be as versed in.

So, Force-Talk has changed…and even now I’m trying to find a way for people to help. I want to make a channel where multiple people run it, where multiple people make videos and post about their views. Force-Realism whether it be for the Jedi or for the Sith, each side teaches the way in which The Force may be utilized completely different. Where IJRS is constantly changing and integrated some new technique from some new progressive book somewhere…TOTJO has a christian-Jedi model. Same as OotS holds a more open and passive way of Sithism and selfishness in comparison to the cult which is Sith Academy.

Not only that…but while I am more Sith than Jedi and I am indeed a Darth in my heart, my path is a personal one, and my religion is one I am building on my own and which is tied to the creature named Ba’al which is linked to my soul.

Therefore…in conclusion…

My mind has been here, there, and everywhere.

I feel that since 2016 is coming…and I’m soon to be changing a lot in my life (getting fit, getting married, changing a budget, possibly moving, and etc) that I should get back on this blog and really start chronicling the stuff that has changed and the stuff I have been improving on. I want to see myself get better…and that was the original purpose of this blog anyways.

Still…pictures of my eight will be coming. I am going to start keeping tabs on myself again, what I eat, how and when I work out, and etc. Hopefully see some serious changes soon.

Until the next blog.


Taking the Title: Darth Larken awakens.


In all my teachings of Sithism, their universe of power and passion seemed to revolve around ranks. Ranks showed what you accomplished, the tasks you had completed. It showed your pain and suffering as you strove for new heights, it showed your struggle as you crawled along the ground, begging for just a taste…a mere drop of power and a strange sense of control.
At the Sith Academy, I can at least say that they did one thing right. They had the Masters who were always there to teach, they had a structured curriculum to help their Acolytes grow into something greater than what they arrived as. They actually had lesson plans that would boost one in ranks, to give them that taste of power so that they wanted more (it also kept only dedicated people around because the tasks could be somewhat tedious and required actual work). But, the most elusive rank of them all was Darth.
Naturally, this rank only applied to the Founders.
But, on rare occasion…someone could boost themselves to this rank. Usually it was based in mere favoritism. It was handed out more like a gift rather than something that actually had to be accomplished. Granted, this did not mean that the strongest did not get this rank…as the stronger people did. But, what goes for the others? People who stayed on that site such as myself…people whose whole effort was poured into making SA something that was great? What of them?
You see, I was (at highest) a Lord on that site before I took my leave. Ranks were always changing, at one time I was going to be made Prophet (which was higher than Lord) until they scrapped that rank idea, and we stayed at our basic structure to keep things more organized.
I ran the site for awhile…I was on there constantly, posting lectures, teaching apprentices, helping people reach out to their dark sides. But, the funny thing is…in all this time of being a Sith, and excelling in the Dark Side of The Force…there was one major lesson that never hit home, one major lesson that I missed.
In Sithism…if you want something YOU TAKE IT.
All of this came to my mind a week ago.
Someone whom I respect greatly in The Force, made it a point to say they respected as a Lord and even asked if I would prefer to be called ‘Darth’ Larken. I thought about this for a moment, and my mind automatically made up its mind that I should not be called this as it was a title that was never ‘given’ to me. After this conversation, I then had a nagging feeling within myself. I had this terrible aching and this headache…more like a feeling of annoyance with myself. But why?
The more I pondered on it…the more that hunger started to grow. That thirst for power within me…the beast was stirring. That’s when I realized how much this man’s words had truly affected me. He said I had all but earned the title Darth long ago. With my writings, with my ability to teach others, with how I excelled at SA…I belonged to be in that top rank of those who understood that Dark Side…that realm of a different kind of power. With my knowledge and understanding, I should have risen to the top long ago.
Now I was sitting there thinking on those words I had typed…how the title had not been ‘given’ to me, and therefore I could use it. Bah! I spit on the idea. I live by the Sith Code…ever day my life is poured into this Creed…this mantra of power. It moves me, it flows through me at every waking moment. It fuels me. What more can I say? True…I am a Light-sider, but only in accordance to reality. The Force is something more than that, and while I am a Shadow Aspect…the shadow, the darkness shows more than my light-sided frame on that scale.
At SA we were always challenged to take that which we wanted. Then we would defend what we had taken, and that was our true test. But, I never had to fight for what I wanted. Only on rare occasions did I have to defend myself and my accomplishments from someone else because of their ignorance or impatience. Other than that, I was never the wolf in the pit, fighting over scraps with the other scragglers. I was always above because someone wanted me there. I wanted to be there as well…but on my own terms and conditions.
So, for the first time…I know now what lesson I was missing. I know why others found me so weak-hearted, so Light. Now for the first time I am understanding the concept of taking what you want and achieving something great. Darth Larken has awoken from her slumber…and with this awakening is going to be some changes. It will take years no doubt…but, I am starting my own Sith Temple.
I will only take in those who can show me they are dedicated. I don’t want dreamers or role-players…I want people who will take action!!! I want people who can demonstrate for me, true power. Sithism is not about those who are the most psychotic, or those who have seen the most death, or walked the most pitiful road. It is about taking what you want, defending it from others with fist, with steel, with mind, with anything you have because your whole ‘self’ and everything around is a weapon…
So then, I dare someone to complain. Whine about my rank, my title, my right to power…try and take it from me in any way you can. You shall not break me, you shall not defeat me, you can’t. When this Temple rises…this new child of mine, it will be small, it will look like any other board. But, there will be something there, something that every other place anymore seems to truly lack…and that is passion. Anyplace can claim to have power…but true power only comes with passion and understanding. I am bringing this back to the Dark Side of The Force.

Darkness be with you…always.

Darth Larken of the Sith.

LaRkEn’s Foundation Assignments

·         Assignment #1

What is the Dark Side?
What are some of your experiences in exploring it?
What does “darkness” mean to you?

What led you to the Sith Way, and how is Darkness relevant to you?



What is the Dark Side? That really depends on what you are talking about…when something is referred to having gone to “the dark side”, it usually has some evil annotation to it, as if someone went from doing all the good and right things to doing the opposite which are all the wrong and bad things. Going to the dark side if often referred to as being traitorous to someone else’s wants…but in the case of Sithism, that is not what the Dark Side is at all (in my opinion). When it comes to being a Force User, one of the main differences between the Jedi and the Sith are their focus and priority. While Jedi-Realism is about bettering the self, ultimately, their goal is bettering the World, helping others, and focusing on peace.

Sithism is something different…it is not only the bettering of the self, it is control over the self, it is power through self, it is passion, and ultimately is considered more of a selfish art and lifestyle. Personally I consider Sithism to be more of the realistic side of things… But, to me, the Dark Side is merely part of the balance…part of the whole ‘truth’, and it is just another aspect of The Force that we are constantly trying to understand.

As I have mentioned in my introduction, my entry into the world of Sithism was as a spy. Just as I had come into Jedi-Realism, it was pure curiosity and boredom which lead me to investigate whether or not Sith really existed…and that’s when I found the Sith Academy. When I first started reading their forums and teachings, I was appalled. It was a male-dominated site and they did not seem like anything less than terrorists. Scared out of my mind, I informed one of Jedi instructors on this, and she laughed. She told me that the Sith were no threat to Jedi in any way, and that I was best just to leave the site alone and never go back. Still, I wanted to play hero, and so, I kept spying in hopes that I might find something to aid the Jedi community.

It was during this time that I started pulling away from Jedi-Realism because it felt like there was something missing. I did not agree with all the things I was being taught, and thus, I started to become more involved in Sithism…only this time, I dropped the spy act and took it on as an actual Acolyte…and I excelled. Taking the things I had kept bottled during my courses in Jedi-Realism, I found that these were the qualities that the Sith at SA were looking for. A realistic personality with passion and emotion…Someone longing for control, a life of power and glory. I was someone that had gone onto their site in a completely different skin, and shocked them with my knowledge, shocked them even moreso with the fact that I was indeed a female, and they were impressed with my addiction to learning.

I grew in ranks rather quickly…from a lowly Acolyte to an Apprentice of Ravenus. Then from there I was granted the title of Master where I taught Religious Studies and “Infiltration” (basically how to role-play and pretend to be someone completely different. Nothing difficult…but for some people, the task seemed impossible because they could not mask their true personalities). Doing real-world missions and exercises earned me the title “Lord”…for awhile (a couple of weeks) I even ran the site for Ravenus, and, when Imperius went missing (the one with the vision of Darth Omega), my insight in meditations was what made Ravenus make me the next Prophet…though that was quickly shut down when SA took its bad turn, ran off the Path to Endarkenment, and I left with one final blog and a bow.

My next run in with Sithism was when another Lord of SA joined forces with me and a few others to create TotSO (Temple of the Sith Order). The site had promise, and while I was not very active due to my job…I was “High Lady” and part of the “Council of Nine” which would develop the curriculum for others. The site only lasted a few months however, and was eventually shut down (much to my dismay)…thus, I have been wandering ever since, longing to find another home where I might share my experiences and regain my high title.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of the word “darkness” is the void…something unknown, something very powerful, and something that is oftentimes feared because it is so unknown. Darkness to me thus screams a force not to be messed with, something very strong indeed. Because the darkness is something that is so unknown, it’s almost like a blank canvas. You make anything with it because there is nothing laid out in front of you…thus nothing you can truly expect, you can only create, fantasize, and make your own reality. Just as exercising has a different result with everyone, the Dark Side is the same. No one has the same outcome, learns the same things, and takes with them the same lessons which they will apply in their life…it is something personal and unique.

So…the reason I came to learn the way of the Sith was because I found that I desired a more realistic approach to things. I know that life is not all sunshine and rainbows and I need balance in order to advance, to keep growing, learning, and changing. Not only do the positive outcomes in life shape us…the negative ones shape us, teach us, and make us stronger as well. Life is all about the light and the dark coming together to form one entity of enlightenment and truth…this is what I believe. Thus, the Dark Side is relevant to me because it is part of that balance. It is the black to the white which creates that middle ground of grey. I need the control over myself, power through myself…so that I may then be able to truly help others in a more realistic light. This is why I have come to Order of the Sith, because there is still so much that I do not know, and there is so much I have yet to Master so that I may feel whole and balanced in all things.

·         Assignment #2

What is a Sith?
Where does your current understanding come from?
What makes the Sith, as a way of life, a path, important to you?



These questions are harder to answer because some of what I believe Sithism is and Sith are…it was said in the last assignment (and if there is one thing I despise, it is repeating myself). A Sith by plain terms would be someone that has Chosen something of the left-hand spirituality, someone that has embraced the Dark Side and thus has embraced the harsh truths of reality. As the code says,”Peace is a lie”, and as another quote goes: “It is a dog-eat-dog world”…the Sith understands this better than anyone, and uses The Force to better themselves in order to face these challenges and overcome life’s obstacles.

My understanding of the Sith and Sithism started with Sith Academy (because that is where my training began)…so, to me, the ultimate goal of Sithism used to be the creation of a superhuman race of soldiers that would eventually lead the planet and be able to defend against outside forces within the endless universe. This is what Imperius saw…this is what he fed to us on that silver spoon engraved with the SA insignia. But, this was just something of a fantasy. While I still do believe that a true Sith can move past human limitations to reach new heights of Power…this vision of a super race of soldiers and a war-torn planet, barren and bloody…well, that vision from my meditation has long since gone, and I’m not sure if or when it will ever come back.

Nowadays…Sithism is still a way of selfish betterment. It is empowerment and the ability to overcome all obstacles no matter the situation. It is all about control…control over the mind, control over the body, control over spirit. In itself, Sith are people who are in control, that use their teachings to be able to not only read themselves and others…but also to manipulate and conquer. This is what I think because this is all I have ever known…but I am here to possibly learn something different if this is the case. I am here to expand on my knowledge…thus, as of right now, my definition of Sithism and the Sith as people are still under construction. I am still building upon that mental image of what I personally think a Sith should be. Calm, collected, powerful, and in control. Strong and solid…like a brick wall.

So…to answer the last question, I will say this: The one thing I have always struggled with in life is control. As a person, I have always felt like I do not hold the proper control over my surroundings and my situations. I often fall into bad instances and wonder what I could have done to have grabbed the reigns a little tighter…as a person, I fight often with my emotions which are fueled by my passions, and again, it is something I feel like I have no control over. Once that nerve has been struck, my emotions flood out like a stream of fire following a trail of gasoline…and I know for a fact that blind rage is not a power, it is a weakness which often leads to harm of self, and in more serious cases, can even lead to casualty.

But, if there is one thing that I have learned from my classes in Jedi-Realism it is that the body is always changing…and not only physically. Just as our tastebuds change and our eyesight gets worse, so does our mind continue to expand and learn and change according to the lessons we have taken and begun to apply to said-life. So as long as I am on the forums and in the Temples…so will my mind continue to expand and I will learn different techniques in which to strengthen myself in body and soul, and that knowledge will carry over to others in which I converse with…and this path and lifestyle is important to me because it does offer me what I want and the tools that I think I need.

Things to harness my visions, to gather my energies  and turn it into energy in which I can then materialize anything I want just by thought alone (same as the concept of Sympathetic Magicks in Wicca and other Pagan beliefs). The control needed to focus my energies elsewhere instead of fueling negative emotions which would get me nowhere. Sithism is important to me as a lifestyle because it is part of that balance that I believe to be my personal truth. I am a Grey aspect…and what is grey without the black to the white?

I have answered this question so many times. I answered it while at Sith Academy as an Acolyte wearing a different skin, I answered it several months later once I had ranked up and my true self was revealed…both times the answers were very different due to experience. This is where I stand with my answers as of right now…but I can guarantee you that these answers will change with time. I would truly think that this is the point of these exercises anyways…
As Darth Draconis said, “It is just a starting point”.

·         Assignment #3

What are emotions?
What purpose, if any, do they serve?
Which ones are most important?
Do you think it’s important to have an awareness of your emotions?



I will start this off by saying that, when I started studying at IJRS, I did this test which determined that I was what they call an Empath. I am constantly being affected by the emotions of others, and have a hard time determining which emotions are my own, and/or how to control all my emotions at once…so, emotion has always been a struggle yet a fascinating subject for me.

So…emotions to me are like all the cogs that make up a machine. Every single one has its own function, and many of the cogs work together to make one motion. This is merely how I see it. Positive emotions fuel other positive emotions which then fuel and move the human body in a positive way. Negative emotions can do multiple things…sometimes they act as aggressors, pushing the other cogs harder and faster than they were moving before, which can sometimes lead to a meltdown. Sometimes, negative emotions can become stuck which then prevents other cogs from moving which is then considered a hindrance on the human body, keeping it from functioning properly.

Such emotions which are aggressors can be things like Rage, Hate, and the feelings of Vengeance and etc. When these emotions flood the mind, the body oftentimes acts without any sense of logic or reason, and can be very dangerous if not handled carefully (for the self and for others). Some people use negative emotions as a type of power, but in truth, they are more of weakness because the mind is so clouded and the body is then left open to attack. So, to me, they have no purpose…and cannot even be considered a last-ditch effort to get what you want. These negative emotions are (to me) a weakness, and the only purpose of having these emotions are to train the body to be rid of them.

Hindering emotions are sadness…things like loneliness, and depression. Things such as these generally have no purpose…if they did have one purpose, it would be as a trial. It would be a teaching experience in which one must overcome such hindrances, oil the cogs, and get the machine moving again.

The other emotions (the more positive ones) we know of well…feelings of happiness, of love—things like excitement, and surprise.  They are the memories and experiences that keep us going when we are at our lowest. They are a muse, they inspire us, they remind us who we are, what we have, and what we strive for. Love allows us to live and fight for something greater than ourselves…it can be selfish but at the same time, not so. It can shatter us into pieces, and it can lift us out of the dark. Moments of happiness are our goals and dreams materializing right in front of us…it is our family and the people we care about coming together and creating precious moments. It is a night out with friends that can never be forgotten.

Now that I think about it…the question asks,”What purposes do emotions serve?” — and I am not really sure if there is an answer to that. I know that, in Jedi-Realism it is said that the body can be trained to rid itself of the negative emotions which serve no purpose…but, as I mentioned above, negative emotions do indeed serve a purpose which is to test us, to try us, and to help us overcome obstacles so that we may learn from this and become stronger and better than before. Positive emotions…what do they serve then other than to remind us that we are alive? Other than to remind us that reality is not as dreary as it seems and that the world holds lots of love and beauty, what else can be said about positive emotions other than it is the Light to the Dark? Such as The Force is balanced between its light half and its dark half…so is the human body in a constant struggle for balance between positive and negative emotions.

Emotions serve the purpose then to help us find our true self and that middle ground.

With that being said, there are no emotions which are most important because they are all part of the experience. There are no emotions that stand out from the others because they will all be felt and we will learn from all of them in the quest to discover our personal truth.

As for the last question…I do agree that one needs a constant awareness about emotions. The thing is, we can do stupid things when blinded by both negative and positive emotions. While people have blamed their anger on making dumb decisions…how many times have you heard of someone making dumb decisions because they were in love?

Knowing your emotions is like having to know your surroundings. When I first came to Germany, I had no clue where I was, knew nothing of the culture, the language, or etc. It was really bad because I was dependent on so many people, it left me weak and helpless…I was vulnerable. Emotions are the same way. When you are unaware of your emotion, unawares of what is currently driving you whether it be anger or feelings of love, you are leaving yourself vulnerable. Vulnerable to hurt, vulnerable to foolish spending, vulnerable to harsh words which could end friendships or break a heart. Granted, these are all part of the experience, but through this experience, being aware of what is happening in your heart and mind is a good asset.

I am sure I will come to revisit this question later.

Assignment #4

What weaknesses and strengths do others see in you?
Where do you see shortcomings in yourself?
What are 3 aspects of the Sith Way that resonate with you, and why are they important to you?



I can honestly say that my weaknesses and strengths have changed a lot since I started my Force training last year. Luckily for me, I chose a Jedi class which was all about oneself, and it helped tackle a lot of the things that I had trouble changing and overcoming, but, that does not mean that I am without flaw.

I will start with discussing weaknesses, since those are still so prominent within myself…

The biggest of my weaknesses is FEAR (and others point out my insecurity and paranoia quite often): fear of variables, fear of future hypotheticals, sometimes it can even be fear of change even though change is needed in order to keep the mind flowing and to grow spiritually.  Fear can take hold of me in a matter of seconds, and when that happens, it is like my whole body goes into a frenzy. I fall into hysterics when everything is up in the air (and nothing seems like it has found a foundation)—when I start to think of all the bad things that could pop up in the future, it makes me want to curl into my bed and hide.
I am not sure when this fear became so…restricting. I have always been someone who is slightly paranoid and afraid of the unknown…but as of when this fear of mine became crippling, I would not even begin to tell you. All I know is that this fear is the weakness which hinders me the most…and it is something I am constantly trying to cope with and overcome.

Lately, my tool for overcoming my fear is to live in the present. By understanding that the future is awhile away and that nothing is set in stone, I try and enjoy each day as it happens. I know that fear over the unknown makes me crazy, and because of that, it keeps me from focusing on all the good things happening around me. When I am gripped by this fear, I cannot enjoy the company of others, I cannot enjoy the small little moments like laying in bed with a loved one, or drinking a favorite soda. In fact, when this fear takes hold of me, I cannot even enjoy my hobbies such as playing video games…and that is when you know there is something extremely wrong.

Another one of my weaknesses is my mouth (when I have finally snapped). One of my greatest strengths is my patience (which many people can attest to), but, that patience does not last forever. There have been very few times where I have lost my temper…but when I do, it is like someone has released the floodgates. Words of all kinds come flowing from my mouth, and I lose all sense of logic and truth. I will sit there and blurt out everything that is mean, hateful, hurtful, and etc. without a care in the world…and when it is all said and done, I have not only made myself look like a complete fool and child, but, I have hurt someone else that most likely did not deserve it. The best example would be to look at my introduction thread here…imagine that Ravenus’ childish rantings were my post…that is what it might be like if I lose my temper.

I also have problems with my mouth when I feel that I have been trapped in a corner. Oftentimes when I am feeling like the victim in a situation, I tend to sit there and babble in order to defend myself. Granted, one should always stick up for their beliefs, but, I tend to take it to the next level. Some would sit there and listen, but, when I should just let the other person calm down, or wait for a situation to blow over, I tend to keep ranting and carrying on which only makes the situation so much worse than what it would be otherwise. The thing is, like my other weaknesses, I realize that these things are happening, and yet, I do not seem to have the power to stop these things before they begin.

Granted, this weakness of the mouth is something very small. It only happens once in a great while, and oftentimes I can bite my tongue. But, I will say that the urge is still there to let out the Hulk every once in awhile, and I have yet to figure out a way to subdue such an urge.

As for a third weakness…I would have to mark my Depression down. While my fear and paranoia is part of my depression, the whole of it all is based in sadness and feelings that the world is ending around me. While my depression is a medical issue that could be treated with medicine…it is always something that I have preferred to tackle myself. But, as time goes on, I have found that adults have more triggers for depression than children do, and it seems like (even though I have improved) I am still fighting the losing battle. When depression hits me, I am in physical pain. Every muscle is sore, every part of me feels too weak to move. I end up shirking responsibilities so that I can lay in bed all day, look at my ceiling, and pout with thoughts of “why me”. It’s a pathetic scene really, and why I cannot seem to overcome all this is beyond me.

I treat my depression numerous ways…I fight it with good company, endulging in good company, or something else. Basically, there is nothing spiritual about this strategy, it is merely keeping myself so distracted that I forget that I am even sad. Sometimes this works, and other times I barely fool others let alone myself. Again, this is something that is trial and error, and will keep working on it until I find something that actually works.

I have tried reading books, tried lessons in things like access consciousness…but so far, I have not gotten around to applying such lessons because I am rather skeptical about it all, and the books bore me to tell you the truth.

…and speaking of boring, that leads me to this additional weakness (which others like to point out), and that is my lack of motivation. Motivation is hard for me, there are few things that really drive me in this world. I can sit there and tell you a billion reason ‘why’ I should do something, but, even with those reasons, it is probably not enough to get me to do something that I do not want to do.

Back in the USA, I was an airsoft player…and surprisingly enough, that motivated me enough to work out because it as something fun, something that made me feel strong, and something that (truthfully) made me feel sexy. I was in an area of my life, where my only goal was to be strong and be sexy for my woman whom had just left for the Army. This is what drove me to go against those thoughts that ‘exercise is torture’, and really push myself to new limits. Plus, I was motivated by the fact that I was jealous of my woman for joining the Army when I never did…aaaaaand I was also training with an Army Veteran who would humiliate me if I performed poorly. So motivation for me, is a hit and miss. Sometimes, the only thing that motivates are the negative emotions…sometimes I have to use my other weaknesses and fears to motivate me. Sometimes, it’s the silly romantic things that motivate…and then sometimes, there is nothing in this world that motivates me. Again, still something I am trying to figure out so that I may come to better understand this weakness, and eventually, overcome it.

Now that we have discussed the weaknesses and shortcomings in myself, I can finally start to talk about my strengths (the ones others have seen in me as well).

I already mentioned patience. While it is something that does not last forever, I find that I am more patient than most people that I know. This is a great tool for both Light and Dark Aspects of The Force, and is something I am applying in my life constantly.

Another strength (that seems to go hand-in-hand with patience) is my understanding. Recently, there have been instances where I have been on a Jedi Forum, and rather than understand an individual, they start to make up their own diagnoses of why people do certain things, or act a certain, and/or even follow a certain path. Rather than understand someone’s calling, try and figure out their ideology and how they function, they want to slap labels on someone…calling them “sad”, “lonely”, and “attention whore” and such. That is not the Jedi way…it is not the way of understanding. Rather than continue to talk with someone and really study them, eventually, it is like they are playing with a new toy, and then they just get bored and will make up any excuse in order to get some new plaything. This is merely my opinion on what I have observed…but then again, I am always still looking and trying to understand. Because knowing someone, is only half the battle.

Another strength of mine, is the way in which I have been known to fuse together creativity and logical-thinking. It’s funny…they used to give us these tests every year in school (from 6th grade and up) to measure which side of the brain we were using more. In Middle School, I was lost in a fantasy world, and thus, the right-side of my brain was more dominant. Then, in High-School…I snapped out of that fantasy world, but only in a way that I could still use it as a muse, but apply real-world thinking to my studies, to my job, and to life in general. I found that the more years that passed in High-School, the more my brain became balance, until I was complete 50/50 in my senior year.

But now, looking at my brain recently, I have found that logical-thinking dominates me, and thus the left-side of my brain is used more than my right side. I attribute this to finally moving out on my own at 18, immigrating to another Country, and really just having to survive. Funnily enough, I still role-play on fantasy sites, still write my novels, still draw, still have crazy dreams…all the things that still make me a right-brained person, and yet, I am now left-brained, and it’s like I have the best of both worlds going on. I can take things that seem to not make sense, and I can make them work. Somehow, some way, I will figure out almost any situation if just given enough time. I find that this is one of my greatest strengths of all…only matched by my last strength, which is my determination.

Call it hard-headedness, call it stubborn, whatever you call it…I have determination like no other. When I found out that my woman was going to Germany, I freaked out. Everything was against. No one ever got their transfers approved for out of the Country when they weren’t sending away-teams. I could not get married (at the time) because of DOMA, so the Army would not sponsor me to go to Germany with my partner. I would only have 6-months to find a job once I got there otherwise I would get deported…either that or I could go to college there for 2 years, but either way, that was bad idea that would quickly fail because, I did not speak the language (fluently). I looked up plan A,B,C,D, and E…and even though everything looked grim, I was not going to give up.

Over a year later…here I am! Living in Germany after I got transfer. When I showed up here, I was homeless for 3 months, thought I would not get my visa. I have been kicked out of my apartment and had to get a new one, have been stuck eating soups for months just to get by at times…but I did it, I did it and will continue doing it until my partner and I can go home. Why? Because I am in love…and because I am determined. Because I like to figure out how to overcome all the obstacles in my life, because that is what I consider true power.

True power…”through strength I gain victory”, this is something that the Sith way is supposed to represent, and I believe in this and it is important to me because (as I just said) I want to overcome all obstacles in my life. Another quote from the Creed: “Peace is a lie”, this too is a thought in the way of the Sith which is important to me because one must not shield themselves from what reality really is, else reality will crush them. This is just my personal belief. As for a last bit of the Sith Way that resonates with me…I have not thought about it in so long, I’m not even sure really. I will save this last bit for the final resource assignment, I think.

I am sure I will revisit this later. But that is really all I can think about at this moment in time.

Assignment #5:

Is this code viable or practical?
What personal experiences, if any, validate it?
How might it apply to you?
What are some of the ways you apply Sith teachings in your life, offline?



The Sith Code:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

I think that the Sith Code is very viable and practical…it merely speaks truth about how harsh reality really is. The sole reason I am a Shadow Aspect is because I know the truth that the Dark Side tends to speak of…starting with the fact that Peace is a lie.
The thing is, we are creatures of greed…we are sinful, flawed, and we fall prey to things such as possession and gluttony. Humans would rather let others suffer if it means not having to suffer themselves. Look at how much we spend on the military (talking about the USA mostly). Billions upon billions of dollars go into making weapons, training soldiers, and researching new technologies to destroy our enemies quicker and more efficiently. The money we spend to help us in the wake of war, could feed those who are starving…it could almost end world hunger in itself.

But do we do it? Do we set aside the weapons and the pride? No.


Because…we know that were we to grow soft, turn towards non-violence…we would be overrun, attacked, ‘occupied’, seized by enemy forces, and the circle of balance, one of good and evil, would continue to turn. Even if we all set aside our differences, and gave up all we had just so that we could get by and nothing more…someone out there would be unhappy. Someone would think they deserve greater things, and, that ‘someone’ would find others like him or her…and conflict would come to the surface once more.

War and strife are inevitable…bloodshed between those with their differences, it is inevitable. There are two types of people in the world…those that serve others, and those that serve themselves. But, that does not mean those that serve themselves are evil…it merely depends on how it is they are serving themselves.

I have always seen Sithism as the pessimistic but logical world view…and Jedi-Realism was the dreaming hippie-vision of what the world would be if all people took good action. Jedi-Realism teaches the abandonment of negative emotions, and Sithism tells you to embrace such feelings in order to overcome obstacles. Sithism and the Sith Code preach ‘passion’ which to me roughly translates a deeper type of motivation for the body and soul. Passion is not just an emotion, it is a fuel…like gasoline to a fire. So yes, through passion (or passions), one would gain strength(s)…not all in a physical sense mind-you, but in whatever area the person had passion in.

Someone with true passion for art, strives to become a successful and highly skilled artist. Someone whom has passion for music, strives to one day have their songs playing on the radio. Someone with passion for physical strength, honor, and discipline might join the military, make a career out of it, and become an honored hero. Passion is more than motivation, it is a way of life in itself…and it drives people down the path to improvement, to self-empowerment, self-betterment , and etc.

Through this change…through this improvement…one would become empowered, would become successful in their own right, and therefore it could be classified as a personal victory. They are now (through their successes, through overcoming their trials and obstacles) unchained, no longer bound by what they used to see as limitations…thus again, Sithism and the Sith Code particularly is more the Path we walk in life every single day.

Therefore, the Sith Code applies to me merely because I am human. Not because I am half a dark-aspect, not because I crave power, but just because I live.

I apply these lessons, these words, and this mantra to my every day life…it flows through me every time I take a breath, every time I tackle a project, every time I search for the will to continue on. I am reminded that I am human, and that obstacles were meant to be broke…that, at the end of this long road of traps and tricks, I will one day overcome everything, and through this personal success, through this victory, I will then know what it is like to have no limits, and I will be free.

Sounds repetitive, but, what else can I say? My views are simplistic in words because, this is more of something one must feel rather than read about…it is something that is (again) ‘personal’ and different for everyone.

Recently I was given a writing from Mortose and I said I would meditate upon the questions that the writing posed. I have not really had the time to take long-periods to meditate over such things, but, I have had the chance to briefly ponder over the writing…the questions, what certain things mean to me, and I think now I can begin to give something of an answer.

Here is the writing that was given to me:

Draco Mortose

Are we soldiers? Do we march in long lines for those things we believe in? Do we believe in anything enough to hold up it’s banner and proclaim it to the sleeping world? What do we fight for? I write here of the “Lords” and the “Masters” of the dark path. What do we march for? Do we march? What do we fight for? What would we die for? I can only answer these questions for myself, as this path takes different turns and is traveled differently for all who walk it.

Do I march? I can say that yes… I do. I do carry a banner and march through the sleeping wastes of what claims itself dark. I do seek to prove to those I see as fools that they are wrong… and there I have said it. “Wrong”, as if I know the sole “right” on this path. How utterly arrogant of me! So… Now, yes I still march but I do so to my own destination and for my own answers.

What do I fight for? Answers. I fight for my answers, to understand all I have experienced. To understand it so I can better use it. For what though? What can I better use it for? I can better use it to grow and accomplish those things I desire to accomplish. What do I desire to accomplish? Everyone wants personal power… Power over others. Well… Most do. So I want that but I also want this to be my last time around, my last existence as an incarnated being. That is a more difficult goal though, so I begin with understanding the dark. I crawl before I walk, then… I run… and then, I leap.

What would I die for? I would die in the attempt to get those things I desire. I would die following my passions. But for? Nothing! There is nothing that moves me enough to die for it as of yet. Now… Am I a soldier? No. I am not. I am an agent, one who uses deception, stealth, cunning and other facilities to get what I desire.

This writing is very interesting to me…because, being someone of balance, my wants and needs are not as selfish as that of other Dark Lords. Where many want Power, Answers, and etc. I want the simpler things…the things that are more light-sided that bring me joy and happiness.

So…is there something out there in which I believe in so strongly that I would carry a banner for it, proclaim it as my truth, and march in its name? As of right now? I am really not sure. While at one point during my time at SA I would have gladly held their banner and proclaimed it as truth in order to awaken the sleepers from their watered down truth of what reality really holds, I have no such allegiance to anything anymore…

But, if there was one thing in which I believed in, and one thing which I would march for, and do anything for, it would be Love. Love as emotion, drives me…it gives me my passion, helps me shape my ambitions, and I cannot see a world without it. Whether love of family, love of Country, love of self, or love of another…this world would be nothing without love. Not that  think anyone would ever speak out against it…but, if there was one thing I march for and constantly bring up in my writings as my fuel, my drive, and sometimes a hindrance in my growth, love would be it. Love would be what I would fight for, love is what I would march for, love is what I would be a soldier for…

It’s nothing spiritual…it’s nothing dark…it’s nothing greedy as it is only sometimes a thing of selfish desires. I’m not really sure this was what this writing really called for as far as answer…and the answer I give really tells nothing of how this applies to me with a balanced path…

It’s just that, I am not yet learned enough in The Force (or with my personal truth defined enough) in order to answer this question in-depth and with certainty. Meditating on such a thing would only wield the same answers. So, for now…we leave the question here…and we shall revisit this at a later date I am sure.

As long as it is here so that I will not forget it.

ravenus_200^^Darth Ravenus ^^

How many know this man? How many know where he stems from…what he accomplished, his dreams, goals, passion, and etc?

The funny thing is…this person used to have real ambitions and what I considered real power. He was a Darth at Sith of my first Masters, and he gave me insight into what he thought a true Sith should be.

Granted…I have done a lot of awakening lately into what the Dark Side is, what it includes, and what the real view of Sithism is. I am still trying to work out some of the kinks…but, the more I study, and the more I delve into the Dark Side again, the more I am happy that I left the SA because their views could not have been farther from the truth, and, once they abandoned that vision of Endarkenment…there was no hope left for them.

Anyways…Ravenus was always the stern type. He took no excuses for anything, and he would attack anyone that showed the slightest hint of emotion (as in things like sympathy or doubt)—he called these attacks “debates” and used them to strengthen his Members, make them defend themselves on their views even if they were in the wrong. For the Sith sticks to their view until their dying breath rather than admit defeat, right?

Ravenus was always telling me that I was too emotional…but I never lost my temper with him, I never took his attacks personally, never took the bait when it came to his debates—I merely stated my opinion and told him that if he did not like it, then he could basically go somewhere else and take someone else’s word for it. He found that quality fascinating in me.

This was a man whose words were always full of such wisdom, and, when he attacked someone, he did it in such a way that it was highly insulting, but still came off as respectful and very…intelligent. It was like even the biggest of lies came out as truth when he said them; he was a wizard of words as was I, and this was why our relationship was so strong.

But, it would seem that, just as Imperius failed us and trailed away from the wise and all-knowing Prophet that we all knew…so has Ravenus fallen and gone to a place where none may save him. Now rather than sound like the intelligent soul that he used to…he lashes out like an angry and hormonal teenager who just got grounded for the weekend and hates everyone. You can tell that everything out of his mouth is nothing but a steaming pile of shit, and no one believes a thing that he says.

His insults are like the trailer-park version of a poorly written rap battle. So, why do I bring this up now?
It’s because the sorry sap found me at “Order of the Sith”. I’m not sure whether someone else reported seeing me there, or whether he just joined the site to plant more Memes…but he was there, and he attacked me, lashed out at me with this pathetic jumble of words which had me laughing for the longest time.

Here is what I wrote as my introduction:

Well…you may call me Larken. That is a first.

I guess the best place to explain myself is to tell you where I have been and the things that I have learned. I came across the ways of the Force Users about 2 years ago. I spent some hard and dedicated time in Jedi-Realism where I was learning at IJRS (Institute of Jedi-Realism), taking their courses, and slowly figuring out that there was still something missing in my Path. I was also at TOTJO off-and-on, though I have never done any of their courses.

When I came to Sithism the first time, it was more or less as something of a spy. I thought that by looking into Sithism and learning how they did things I would be some “super hero” of the Jedi. But, my Masters merely laughed at me and said that the Dark Side was no threat to them, they just did not want people to head down that path as it was a selfish one. As I learned more about Sithism…I became somewhat ‘addicted’ to it. I was breezing through courses with a passion I had never discovered while doing things for IJRS…and I then accepted that maybe the Dark Side was where I had always been meant to be.

I started my Dark Side training at Sith Academy.
Some people may laugh and point fingers…but at one point in time, they did have a plan and were doing things in accordance to something that could even be called Divine. I believed in their mission and their instruction, and through them, I quickly excelled in the Dark Side— then through missions and such, I was quickly promoted several times until I reached the rank of ‘Lord’ among them (which is one step below Darth which is then the highest you can get on that site). I was an instructor in Religious studies and had Apprentices of my own. It was when Sith Academy took a very bad turn that I knew they had strayed from their Path, had changed directions, and would soon lead their old dreams into the dirt. I left.

I was not the only one who left…and those who were loyal to me and to the other Masters and Lords who had true passion and ambition made a new home (TOTSO). There I was High-Lady and part of the Council of Nine. The site was only open for a short period of time while we tried to build up the curriculum. Sad that it fell apart before it could become something…but it did. Now I have come here to continue my learnings in the Dark Side and perhaps even share what things I know with others.

I guess the last thing I would say about myself is that I never gave up on Jedi-Realism, and still learn through it today. Guess you would call me a “Grey Aspect” Force User…so a Shadow Jedi or Light Sith.

If there is anything in particular you want to know, feel free to ask. I look forward to what all this place has to offer and what I will come to learn in the future.

Darkness be with you.

This is what I wrote when someone asked me about Sith Academy:

Imperius originally had a plan towards Endarkenment…in showing people the reality of the world in which they were living. He wanted all to become one power, to become strong so that we might build a powerful Empire that could stand up to the Forces of the universe in which he felt would descend upon us soon. He believed that people wore a mask to hide, and he wanted to remove that mask…I believed in this, I agreed with this…and I came to Sithism to develop power so that I could not only defend myself, but protect those that I love and give them the skills to defend themselves too.

Some of their tactics could be a little harsh and out there…but most of the crazy stuff said on that site were not brought on by the 2 Darths themselves…but were brought up by the many different Acolytes running around.

A lot changed…Imperius went missing for awhile, and when he came back, he freaked out. He said that Sithism had become a cult (we already knew this because of how he let people run the place) and that he did not want this lifestyle to be that way. He said his vision of Darth Omega was a lie (which we knew)…but whereas we believed that he had believed the vision enough to make it a reality, in his post, he decided he was just going to throw away the whole concept which had started Sith Academy, and rebuild it from the bottom up. He was getting rid of our philosophy and our dream. Everything we had worked towards was being wiped. The Master’s Groups disappeared…Apprentices were taken from one Master and given to another. The website moved to a more cooperate-thing where it was all about big business and taking money from the higher-ups…and that’s not why I joined.

When they asked me to help with the Council, I knew I could not lead them because The Force…it IS my religion. I don’t care about CEO’s or taking over big names. I don’t care about stocks or investments…I believe in that spiritual-aspect of what I though Sithism was and could offer me in terms of self-betterment. So, they called me weak, but I left them a blog explaining my beliefs…I told them I hoped they turned things around, and I left.

Nowadays there are rumors that they deal in free sex, pedophlic-suggestions, and are selling some drug on the market called the “Kryat Dragon”. I was tempted to go back in order to investigate this…but I would rather not get involved lest someone crack down on them and then act like I am in the ring.
But truly was a place for advancement for one time.

It was true that they often gave people power that did not deserve it…
It is also true that they had so many different things mixed into it, that it was its own form of Sithism that would not really be recognized by others because it was practically a Sith Zoo to those not on the inside…bu it was my first Sith home where I earned everything I got.

This is what Ravenus wrote me:

The World is Mine!

Postby Ravenus » Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:00 pm

Get a counselor-LaRkEn!

I’m sure that there is a rather good one or two in Germany somewhere.

In my personal experience of living over there for several years, the best shrinks of the world are German and at times Austrian.

But keep this in mind, search out a Jungian psychiatrist or psychologist who can speak our language and pull out that Yahweh God meme out of your Gangster head!

And if you have a physical problem, then take a bullet train to Gay Paree!

In my experience of living in Moscow for several years and having to deal with numerous problems of armoring and strengthening my own body—the French physicians of that city and Paris were the only ones who were able to take my dying body and make it Immortal!

And for the record, I knew that you were a female when you first joined Sith Academy. You couldn’t fool me and my 3rd dead eye. Maybe you should take a break for a minute or two before you read the following truth. I told Lord Imperius to keep it quiet about what I felt about you and if we were lucky, then you could become his next new girlfriend.

That’s right, Imperius likes girls, and they have to be Straight.

Straight to bed!

The same goes for you Mortose and how I knew that you were a female from the very beginning. How Pathetic! U Sith Cats are only good for one thing, and that is to land on your feet, no matter how I throw or toss you about. Get up and out of your chair Mortose, and hear this warning straight from my mouth. And don’t take it the wrong way this time around. We all know that you have a checkered history at SA of getting your feelings hurt every now and then. But you are, let’s say for the time being, an 85percent dark beast and I’ll give you the respect for it. The 100 percent beast or rather monster lives in Prague and he belongs to me. So hands off! A final piece of advice and rather polite warning to you and your slaves: Keep up or get Lost!

Oh Fuck it! Let’s TMI this Sith Joint with a few other details from the SA Bunker.

Imperius and I are getting into the motion picture business, that only the Big Boys of this world can dream about. In about 7 hrs. from now, we are going to mingle with some rich Jews straight out of Hollywood. They and others have taken an interest in us and our desire to write up and maybe produce the next Billion Dollar ‘Star Wars’ movie. Quite frankly, Imperius & myself plan to wake up this fucking planet!

But know this little-monster in the making and prepare yourself to hear it: Ravenus & Imperius will be living in San Francisco on the top of Nob Hill in less than 5 years. I predict here and now!

And you LaRkEn, the Sith of the world and perhaps some of that Jedi trash, who may be biting at our heels, may wonder why Imperius and myself are moving to San Francisco.

READ & MEMORIZE: Because that’s where all Rich Gay Men go to Die!

Note: Don’t expect me to respond to you anytime soon in this place or anywhere else on the Big Brother and Slum Internet of all modern times! As far as I’m concerned, and can’t really speak for Imperius right now, you need to learn “Patience.” Something that you and the few ‘Sith Dog Pounds’ of the world do not and will never have.

And get a Bitch, maybe a Dyke on a Bike!

FYI: The nice ones around here are the first ones to get picked off!



Quote: Be careful working with others, they may take you down with them~R

…and lastly, my response to his nonsense:

Well that made no sense whatsoever…and honestly, it show how low you have really fallen.
The Ravenus that I knew spoke with wisdom and insight…his insults were filled with power and did not even have to be direct insults because they were laced with the truths that hurt. All I get from you now is an old man with the mind of an angry teenager spewing whatever word comes to mind first…and it’s sad, because somewhere deep down, I might have still had a shred of respect for you.

Again though…you have taken to lies. If you knew I was a woman all along (which there was no way that you could have), then you would not have been so surprised when I revealed it to you. Also, the SA is not a dating site. If Imperius wanted himself a girlfriend so bad, he could have left his bedroom and gone and found one.
What part of Hollywood and Money is SITH? This is not the vision we had of Endarkenment…this is not the vision we had of empowerment. This is just about greed…and obviously for you, it is about sex or something? I have no idea because you are babblling, and listen to your typing in my head was an absolutely horrendous experience.

You sit there and act like my feelings were hurt all the time…but you know that is not true. I was promoted because you were constantly trying to hurt my feelings, trying to insult me, and I never gave in…and it impressed you, thus why you gave Venger and I so many responsibilities and wanted us to help lead SA to our goal, our dream, and our moment of glory.
I have patience…which is the only reason I stayed with SA as long as I did. I have patience because rather than to think all SITH were like the creatures at SA, I decided to reach out and truly determine what Sithism is because SA does not have a single idea about this lifestyle and religion which is The Force.

Can SA be considered Paganism?
…sure. A cult? Definitely—but Sith? No…

Go play the spoiled brat elsewhere Ravenus…and stop trying to pin people on things that are untrue just because you have lost your sense of self AND your Path.


So…who really needs the counselor here?

Hitler? A SITH Lord?

Posted: September 3, 2013 in Ranting/Venting, SITH-Related

I’m having a Nazi problem

When I first started looking into Sithism, I felt like the whole thing was more or less misunderstood.
Where people would tend to think of it like something of a psychotic zoo…myself, I thought that maybe people were merely making assumptions based off of the fact that the Sith were the bad-guys in the movies.

Either way…when I first started out in Sithism, I felt like like the Light and Dark were played out like this. The Jedi were the optimists…the ones focused on World news, the ones who rallied others with their words of peace and drew people in through philosophical discussions. They always saw the glass as half full, and half the time, seemed as though they lived in some sort of world all their own. They were aware but were not grounded.

Then there were the Sith whom I thought to be the realists. I took their desire for power as a cry for help. They saw what people were truly capable of, they see the monsters hidden under the flesh of mankind. I figured that their desire to have power and control (in the end) was merely for self defense and to protect what was theirs and the ones that they loved (such as friends and family). Sure you had the occasional bad apple (like Ravenus and his constant preaching about taking back male dominance and etc etc), but, I guess it wasn’t until I became a Master at SA and was slowly working my way up to Lord status that I truly started to see the madness that everyone like to poke fun at (within other Force Temples).

…Anyways…I was randomly thinking back to the Sith Academy today when I remembered the section dedicated to honorary ‘Sith Lords’. In there were some really amazing men (like Bruce Lee and etc) but then, you had the others which were somewhat questionable. One such ‘honored Lord’ was Adolf Hitler.

I recently took a trip to the Dachau Concentration Camp outside of Munich. For an empath such as myself, the trip was anything but grand. All the sad and scared emotions floating around the place made me feel nothing more than exhausted and ill. Not that I expected any less…but either way, I was still struck so hard with the fact that one man could cause this with mere words…with propaganda…could start mass genocide in order to fulfill some sort of duty, to achieve the goal of his higher calling.

If we are talking in “Star Wars” movie-terms then Adolf Hitler would be a great Sith Lord (indeed). A veteran of the first world war, a survivor, a crazed man with a deep sense of hatred, longing for power to bring about a new world order. But, in terms of new age Sithism ad Sith-Realism…what does he really amount to? Sith are about boasting their true power, in making others fear them with their real accomplishments and demonstrations of power. Hitler may have caused a movement that nearly killed out entire classes of people, but in the end, it was not him alone in this, it was not his hand that choked the life out of every victim. It was the works of those under him, brainwashed by his ideals.

But…he did have people join him. That did show power in manipulation. He held convincing arguments, and, in Sith teachings they would rather a Sith pretend to know something and fight it tooth and nail rather than lose in an argument against someone inferior. His reign spread fear wide enough to have all sorts of Nations swoop in to take him out and stop his Dark Army…AND, on top of that, every person who lay there suffering, dying of disease, and worked to the bones in the Concentration camps were not only scared…but they lost the most important things to them which was HOPE.

So really…it’s all up for debate on whether or not someone could call him worthy of being a Sith Lord and why they would even want him to be a model in the first place. Last time I checked, Sith do not KILL people!!! We are not into the Dark Side of the Force to slaughter others…we are merely in it to gain power, to gain control over parts of ourselves that run rampant, and ultimately to make a name for ourselves and to live a life of glory. Most Sith are not psychotic, they are not violent…we merely see the world in a different way than others and could be compared to the nocturnal Wiccans and goths of the Force-age (in some ways but not all).
We percieve all of life as an obstacle to overcome, and that through passion and power we will gain enlightenment.

But Hitler…He was a liar…a fake. He lied in his own auto-biography…paid off his friends to lie in their own testimonies, committed suicide rather than surrender himself over the more powerful forces marking him as nothing more than a coward who held control over nothing. He started  a fire that in the end went out of his control and he was left powerless and through his own fears decided to give up.  I guess for the Sith Academy who thrive on lies, glory through wealth and pure status that someone like Adolf Hitler would make a perfect candidate for their teachings and philosophy. But, for the true dark-siders…not so much. Not in my eyes at least.

I already don’t agree with what he did in the past (those who do think his ideals are great are nothing short of psychopaths themselves in my eyes), and, aside from the fact that he was a master manipulator and a wizard with words, he holds no quality of any Sith Lord in this newer age of Dark-Force-Power.

…with that statement aside, the reason I bring this up is because I have been having a terrible time here recently. In Germany there is a lot of negativity in the air. Over the weekend, soldiers stationed in Germany were told to avoid both Nuremberg and Stuttgart during their four-day-holiday-weekend because of Anti-American protests going on in the city.
While we passed only through Nuremberg to catch a connecting train, thinking we would be safe in my city of Augsburg, my girlfriend and I got a surprise when we saw the “Gegen Nazis” protesting through the small strip mall that lies merely 15 minutes (or less) from my flat.

Today a group of Nazis ran past me as I walked home from work, holding signs and protests banners that were too smeared to read, and Police were wearing bullet-proof vests and standing behind barricades as I walk home…out in the open, still not fully knowing what was going on. They had a house surrounded and everything, all blue lights were flashing, and the Polizei were just waiting for a reason to run in and arrest someone. It’s a scary thing.

It is all the more reason why I am so torn between the two teachings (of Jedi and Sith). Because, while I would like to believe in something like “true peace”, I know that it is merely a false hope…something unachievable like the concept of perfection. Even if there is a brief period of quiet in this world, it is only to be short lived. Evil forces will always be brewing in the darkness, always rise up to challenge our way of living, our beliefs, and their unrest and ungratefulness for the things they already have will cause them to seek the fortune of others, blood will be shed, and war will break out through conflict. This path is human nature, and it is inevitable. Still…since I am currently reading on Hitler and all this Nazi-nonsense has been popping up, I figured that I would just share my thoughts.

I’m sure that this was going to go somewhere else and be a longer post…but it is late, and my brain just does not want to function at the moment.

TotSO is gone?

Posted: July 30, 2013 in SITH-Related

It has been a long while since I posted anything Sith-related.
This is because my time spent at TOTSO was always few and far in-between because I struggled with things I should post, what I should contribute, that and we were still waiting for the Council of 9 to assemble before the site was really going to show its true colors and etc.

The project itself held much potential…and the people we had working on the training (Acanthos and Venger)…well, you just could not go wrong there 🙂
But, today I tried to go there to post something about my recent exercises and perhaps a tad on the “Empty Force”, and I ended up on some hosting site saying that TOTSO could not be found.

It’s so depressing…

Granted, it’s not as if there are not other places I could go. But I feel as though I lost many valuable resources via TOTSO. Endarkenment of Pain, Endarkenment of Death, some bits and pieces of Sithism in Existentialism…all of this was something I should have saved and looked more into rather than wait until everything came together. It’s my fault…I assumed the best and played the lazy part when I should have been actively keeping up with both Light and Dark aspects of things. I’m still face-palming myself for this one.

I don’t know. I’m still trying to find myself when it comes to being Sith. As a light-Sith, I have much to learn, much to discover, and thus I will have much to teach others later in life via my own trial and error. Anyways…it’s nothing huge, but again I have lost a grand title, but before that title, we lost a great Sith Temple, and it truly saddens me. *sigh*

That is all for now.