Archive for February, 2015

What did this meditation mean?

Posted: February 28, 2015 in Meditation, Updates

Recently I decided to ask for guided meditations which would help me better communicate my questions via The Force…I wanted to see if I could grasp some answers from the Universe and because I have been ill and rather distracted due to other things, I thought that a guided meditation would suit me better (for the moment) until I am at my 100% again.

Well, the Jedi-Church group provided me then with a “Body Scan” meditation which was supposed to help me with these issues I suppose. I started playing the file, and I cannot describe to you what happened.

Rather than heading to my void as I normally do, I was lost in a great black space. I found myself just floating in this empty area, I really felt nothing, and when I could feel my body again…I was spinning. But not like a bottle spinning on the floor, no. I was spinning as if I was a hatchet that had just been thrown across the room…I found myself crashing over and over through oozing walls of something, and the only word my brain could come up with was “membrane”. So, after crashing through this Membrane over and over again…there came a moment where I could finally feel myself floating again, only this time, I found that the great black space was now full of water, and I was gently floating on its surface.

I followed the steps, but instead of breathing light, I found myself breathing out fire and smoke…little embers came forth from my nostrils and sizzled as they hit the water. The room had grown lighter now to a cream color as I started to feel a pain in my feet like I had never felt before. Suddenly there were roots wrapping themselves over my toes…not vines, but actual tree roots that were growing bigger by the second, locking me into place. They were not only pinching my feet, but felt like they were melding with them and trying to become one. I tried to hold out as long as I could, to stay in this place to figure out what was going on…but, I feel like my mind’s defense mechanism kicked in and I got whisked away somewhere else. My mind got distracted, and in the end, I had to stop the meditation a mere 15 minutes in (even though it already felt like it had been an eternity).

I plan on trying this meditation again to see what happens…but I’m wondering what this experience means (if anything). I have never had this happen to me during a meditation before.

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UPDATES:

In other news…considering that I have finally finished Creed 101 at IJRS and have started working on other classes elsewhere, I have decided that once I have finished the final tidbits of resource assignments that it might be wise to start thinking about doing the Sith Trials at OotS (Order of the Sith). Since I have no Master and have basically claimed the Darth title on many other sites, I feel that I would do good with the brush-up, and the formal trials might be a way to progress myself even further down the Dark Side Path.
Already I have started working on a Holocron which I will be posting on OotS and a Separate wordpress account and I just feel that it is time that I stop being the wandering observer and take some sort of action to be something greater than what I already think that I am.

With that being said, I want to also take next week to start working towards my courses in TOTJO. I have put this off for years because it takes so much time and dedication and I still question the community there and how they teach things. Either way, I signed up there and feel like I should do what I set out to do and continue working towards Jedi-Knighthood whether I consider myself more Sithian or not.

But that’s all I have going on right now. I’m still in Germany and will be back in the USA by the end of April (if that little tidbit was of importance to anyone).

MTFBWY

Here lately I have been seeing strange lights. Not like a UFO or anything of that manner…but every time I look at a person, I can see light lifting off of their shoulders, and sometimes when I am moving around in a darkened space, I see light flitting about the room. It’s not completely uncommon for me to be able to see the energy output on someone. This is something I have been able to do since I was very young. But, to start seeing it more as a constant thing…I can’t say this it’s unnerving…but for me, this will take some getting used to.
As for the lights that travel beside me and around me when I get up to walk around at night. Those are things that I still cannot explain.

So, General Update time…

Since I left Taz, I have been trying to get my life back on track. I have gotten back on the self-help Forums I was on before and have updated all of my goals to fit my current situation. I have started working on my Force-Assignments again, and will soon be finished with Creed101 so that I might move on with meditation or something along those lines. I have also started blogging a lot more and taking more ‘me’ time to relax and let my body heal from the damage it suffered while Taz and I were having our fallout.

I guess I never noticed how negatively she was affecting my personal journey until I went back and read through ll my assignments. Nowadays I want to be able to focus more on my journey as something separate from my love life, even though I know that the two will collide from time-to-time.

As mentioned before, I have started blogging more and have various blogs that cover various different hobbies of mine. I still want to do my Travel blog, but right now I’m focusing more on my tattoo blog as well as my gaming blog which has always been my main focus and passion.

Hm…I was also finally given the permission to make a ‘Holocron’ via “Order of the Sith”. I was originally told that only those that were considered ‘Darths’ on OotS were allowed to make Holocrons, and now that I have the permissions to do so, I only wonder what I might put there. While a Holocron has been under construction for some time now, I’m wondering if my format is appropriate.

Outside of Force-Realism…I am still in Germany at the moment. I will be here for another month before I return to Indiana. the goal is to stay in Indiana for about 3-6 months before possibly making my way over to Texas to be with my new partner while she finishes out her time in the Army. All of this will happen if she does NOT get deployed first. I’m ready to start over fresh and Indiana is the place where I grew up, but not the place where I want to stay. As always, my goal is to find a good and steady job to hold me over while I figure out what I wish to do with my life (career-wise). My time spent in Germany and babysitting has not only strengthened my dream of one day being married to that one person that holds my heart, BUT, it has also shown me that what I want more than anything else is to be a Mother.

There really is not much else to say.
more Creed posts are coming soon and hopefully some meditation as well. Just figured I would put a post out there to let people know that I am indeed still alive and pushing forward.