Archive for December, 2014

Why hide our inner predator?

Posted: December 10, 2014 in Ranting/Venting

Why hide our inner predator?
Why keep our inner animal locked up in a cage?

This thought has crossed my mind recently. Because I am back in the States (and there was 3 weeks prior to that where I had very limited access to the internet), I have not had time to do the classes that I signed up for at IJRS…I have not been at the new Sith Orders as I should because I believe that spiritual discovery and the motivation to do something and truly soak in what it has to offer, I believe that all of this comes in its own time. If you force yourself to do something, it will not be as fulfilling for you…
Others might disagree…but I’m getting off topic.

What little work with spirituality and researching things…well, it lead me to all the things I had been seeing before. As with former complaints on most things considered “Light-Side” aspect, I find so many paths and teachings telling you to repress something, erase something…take something away from your being which merely makes you less of yourself. I find that, being yourself means embracing all of you. While you may bend and change, things that are a dominant side of you can’t just “go away”, feelings and emotions cannot just get “erased” from your self, they can only be met with understanding and you can better yourself based on this.

Too many people deny what we all are at heart…we are animals. We have instincts, we have drives, all based on a genetic code passed down over-and-over again that help us get through this life, that push us to do nothing more than make it, to survive…to pass on that code once more to the next generation and so on. This world, though it may not seem like it at times, is still “Survival of the fittest”…things like War are inevitable, battle will always comes, chaos will always pop its head out of what we see as order…so its up to us to get put into that mode where we fight or we die. Simple as that.

You know…it’s interesting how I repeat the same things over and over throughout my blogs, and yet, each time I write about it, it is because there is more and more that I am coming to understand. To say one thing and to ‘know’ of it is a good start…but to truly ‘understand’ something is much, much greater than just your basic ‘knowledge’.

…for the past 2-3 months I have spent my time with a beautiful creature who has come to make me see many things about myself. A daughter of Fenrir and chaser of the full moon, she is the type to focus on the prey, not the Horizon—one to live in a moment, and she does not deny herself her instincts, does not deny her emotions, and she pointed out that, though I may hold a high “Dark Aspect” title of Darth, there is still an animal chained inside myself, still caged where I rarely ever let it see the light of day. Like most people, I have been programmed to deny my true nature because it might not be as accepted, because I was taught to have what people consider to be “control”. But, trying to erase aspects of yourself is not control…trying to deny how you truly are at your core is NOT control. It is ignorance.
Control comes from embracing whom and what you are and understanding where your weakness is and learning to work around it in a way that is constructive. Control is knowing that you are not perfect, knowing that your flaws are just as much a part of you as anything else, and that you should be loved for that side of you rather than scolded and shunned. Control is knowing you have things about you that would otherwise consume you, but, because you have understanding, they are still present but do not have to scream to get your attention. Control is knowing that no one has to ‘mold’ you for you to be a certain way, attain a certain rank or status, because even with those qualities and flaws, you can make it anyways.

I am an animal…I have an inner wolf in me too that sometimes comes out to play. I have that thirst, that desire to run free, to break out of my cage and chase the moon as my loved one does. I have that strength locked away in me because it is normally looked down upon…the emotions that I let drive me, the instincts others might find crazy, the passion that courses through me which most would confuse for unhealthy obsession.

Like children who form a lens over their eyes because society tells them what is real and what is not real, even as adults we are still being wet down and molded into something we are not. We are still being made into a model of perfection where they play it off that being so uniform is so good and moral even though it makes us deny our very nature and what makes us truly unique from one another. To deny us power, to deny us passion, to deny us that field so that we may stretch our legs and run…why? Why grow to be caged? Why deny us the very things that can set us free?

This is just a taste of the things floating through my mind here recently and I shall expand upon it later I am sure.
Since my ‘Path’ took its last turns with the revelation of the thirteen keys that will lead me and my ‘children’ to a type of ascension, my discoveries and research have gone beyond just that of Force-Realism. I recently read the “Art of War” by Sun Tzu and took a few pages worth of notes. Also, been reading a few other books in which I have taken notes so that I might have more to write about later.

But for now, I pose an exercise for all whom read this: What is your animal?

I am not talking about a spirit guide or anything like that. I am talking about YOU. What are you? Where is your animal caged and why? Is it even caged at all? In what ways do you let it run free? When did you discover your animal and how did you know that this particular animal was you? If your animal is caged…how did it get that way and what do you think it would take to set it free? Leave your answers in the comments-section if you so desire.

Until the next one then…