Archive for November, 2014

The ever-changing Path

Posted: November 23, 2014 in Uncategorized, Updates

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….Life is an ever-changing Path where nothing is set in stone. Nothing is permanent except the decisions that have already been made, the things we have already come to experience, and the consequences that we have faced due to said-decisions. But, when it comes to the future, there is no way that we can ever say that something will happen for certain.

Spirituality is just one of the many things in our lives that is constantly being molded into something new and something different. Sometimes our personal paths and truths get an upgrade as we learn more, and sometimes a lightning bolt strikes that tree which stood so firm in our minds, and then we start all over from the tiniest seed of belief into something somewhat familiar, but ultimately very, very, new.

While Force-Realism has been something I have stuck with for awhile (albeit my studies go rather slowly), I too have changed so much over the years. My path now split in many different directions, and rather than walking along what I thought was a straight path with narrow vision, I see that there are multiple paths in front of me—forks, turns, and etc. All things I could not see before because I had deliberately closed off those possibilities because I wanted a solid plan, I wanted to try and read ahead of something that was never meant to be predicted.

So…an update for those that might not know…I am finally back in the USA, and it has been overwhelming in both good and bad ways.

So much happened before I left Germany. My partner and I finally split for good (I know that it was for good this time because it was actually my decision and the both of us have since moved on), and, on top of that I ended up falling hard for someone who has shown me things and made me feel things that I never knew existed. There was another brilliant mind whom I had been speaking with for some time who was talking with me about my “Dark Side Philosophy” and he put out an idea I never considered before.
I had been looking for an Apprentice…looking for someone that I could teach, could guide along the Dark Side path and then perhaps even open my own Sith Temple with them running it along with me. But, something was always missing. I felt like every bit of me was doing the same thing that other Dark Lords had done…I saw the Temple being another failure, and I knew that there was something else wrong here, I just could not put my finger on it.

but, this brilliant mind then posed the question of starting my own path, my own religion and teaching…since my ideas of Darkness were not as most Sith Temple taught them, and, moving away from the Star Wars name might make other people take my ideas much more seriously. After meditating about this very thing in my void for a few days…something finally dawned on me. The other half of my soul…Ba’al, he came to me with a door with thirteen keyholes in it, and described to me the thirteen keys to Ascension.

He described them to me, but would not tell me what exactly the thirteen keys were…and he said that upon finding all thirteen of them and then experiencing them all in entirety with a deeper understanding of all of them, I would then be truly ‘enlightened’ in a way that would make me more than human. Thus, my new quest began. That isn’t to say that I won’t stop studying to be a Jedi-Knight or keep on my Path to becoming closer to a Sith’ari rather than just a Darth…but…knowing I have a higher purpose now, it does take a lot more of my time away.

As I said…coming back to the USA has been so overwhelming. I have been met with such negativity upon my return…from people hating me for leaving to those hating me for going back in January. Those hating the fact that I’m no longer with my previous partner to those already not so fond of my new one…just the way people in my home state react to each other…the rude way in which they speak, the amount of noise that happens in one place, the way everything around here looks so dead and so flat…while I have missed those close to me and somewhat missed a little of the allure of the USA, most of me cannot wait to go back to Germany (which is something I never thought I would say).

 

I guess it is just amazing to me how much time has changed me, how two years has made me into someone completely different, how in the last 3 weeks alone from my break-up to my new situation, I have become a completely different person, and my life is now headed in a completely new direction than it was before…and the adventure is still being written and unfolding day-by-day.

Anyways…I just wanted to put that out there for those wondering where I have been or what I have been up to. More to come when I am not so brain-dead and jet-lagged.

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