Thinking Aloud

Posted: May 31, 2014 in Ranting/Venting, Uncategorized

When it comes to a Path (your destiny or etc.), the journey is never finished, the job is never done. Even though I have taken the title of Darth for myself, there is still so much that I feel I need to learn, so much that I am still learning, but, that does not take away from my rights to a name any less. Still, I figured I would say this just so that all are clear. The Force is something I believe that I have always been searching for, a power that I was always reaching out for but was always too far until two years ago.

 
My personal belief is that The Force found me when it felt it needed to be found, and it let me go about my merry way, testing the waters until I had a base for what my personal ideology is. The more I learn about the different sides of The Force (Ashla and Bogan…Dark and Light), the more I learn about myself, how I am defined, and what my Path truly means. In a battle between Good and Evil. I am no evil character. I do not believe the Sith to be evil in terms of our reality, but more or less gazed upon as being more selfish and self-concerned which marks them as the bad guys. But, the Sith at least try to take action for something that they believe in…be it power, be it an obessession or thoughts of vengeance. At least, if a Sith wants something, they will do everything in their power to make it happen, rather than sit around and wait.

 
I agree that nowadays a lot of Sith Orders come across as a competition of who is the most psychotic, whose father loved them the least, and who has the biggest criminal record and/or the sickest fantasies. But, this is not real Sithism, this is not what the Dark Side is. This is not true to what I learned, what I forsaw at SA, what I feel when I repeat the Dark Mantra. Still…

 
…Sithism has its flaws, and with it, I also see the flaws in the Light-Side. The fact that people who are based in understanding can be so closed minded. To say that their way is the only way is no better than a Christian saying that if you do not go to church on Sunday or if you do blah, blah, blah then you are going to hell. I have watched so many intellectuals get ignored, get showered in excuses for their answers, for their inquiries merely because they dare question what has been written…they dare think outside a teaching, and for that, they are shunned. While I still believe in The Force and know it to be my way…as more and more days pass and I wander among the forums, I start to lose hope in all that had thought so highly of before. I am seeing the struggles of those who truly want to reach enlightenment but are shot down by others of higher rank…I see how this world is on a scale where one side is dreamers, and the other side are rampaging idiots, and it does not scare me so much as it makes me sad.

 
But, going back on my Path I used to think of myself as a balanced Aspect…50% Light and 50% Dark. I wanted to balance out my Sith Lord Title with a rank of Jedi Knight and evenly mix the two teachings to create a Grey Aspect. Now I see where that plan was flawed from the start. While I am good in nature and therefore Light-sided in accordance to reality…in accordance to spirituality, that is not so much the case. The more I learn in Light and Dark sides, I can see where Sithism suits me more, it holds more for me personally, and I make more progress through it because it is something that I personally believe in truly and often without question. I can see where action is necessary, passion is what brings results…and that’s what I want is results! I can see the realistic view of things, see that dreams cannot fix a world that is rapidly falling apart. I can see that veil of beautiful lies that shroud society’s face and I yearn to rip it off of them, undo the knot, and give them Endarkenment…the harsh truth, to save them.

 
Strange as it may sound…there really is no other way for me to explain it. People in this world have either seen too much truth and have gone insane, they have not seen truth because of the veil and they live in a fantasy land of false hopes and dreams, or, they could face truth and overcome it, take action to change it…

 
So…whereas I used to say I was a Balanced or Grey Aspect…I take that back. It’s a Shadow Aspect. An aspect that still respects others and will still help…but it is an aspect based mostly in darkness, one of harsh truth, and still mostly selfish as one must help themselves before they can help others (same as people would say one must love themselves before loving others).

 
These…realizations are slowly helping me to become the Darth I am meant to be. To finish my Temple with a strict curriculum and bring my idea of “Atlas” to life…it leads me to that place of being Empress where I will not only hold a title which asks for respect, but I will show then on many accounts that my title alone does not only require it, but, that I earned it.

 
So…right now I will continue with IJRS lessons and start TotJO’s first major lesson tomorrow. I will continue from the Foundation Assignments to the Self-Training at OotS and I should continue writing on Atlas as soon as I start learning a few more things about the Fictional Sith and how I can add that into an ideology or model of what a Sith-Realist should be (but not in an evil conquering way…more as in conquering your own personal weakness and taking control over your life and etc.).
This is the plan…but, we will see how all of that rolls.

 
OH…and I need a new name…

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Comments
  1. Kol Drake / RD says:

    It is as you note — Sith / Jedi — they are two sides of the same ‘coin’ — so there is good and ‘bad’ to find in the philosophies of both since they are trying to define the same thing — where am *I* in this world with and without the Force?

    Light, Dark, Gray, Shadow — all terms to try to shove a person in a handy pigeon hole. BE who you feel is best for YOU to be; let the others worry about titles and definitions. Walk the Path that is uniquely you… it is sure to be more enjoyable than trying to fit into someone else’s concept of how and who you should be.

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