Archive for May, 2014

Thinking Aloud

Posted: May 31, 2014 in Ranting/Venting, Uncategorized

When it comes to a Path (your destiny or etc.), the journey is never finished, the job is never done. Even though I have taken the title of Darth for myself, there is still so much that I feel I need to learn, so much that I am still learning, but, that does not take away from my rights to a name any less. Still, I figured I would say this just so that all are clear. The Force is something I believe that I have always been searching for, a power that I was always reaching out for but was always too far until two years ago.

My personal belief is that The Force found me when it felt it needed to be found, and it let me go about my merry way, testing the waters until I had a base for what my personal ideology is. The more I learn about the different sides of The Force (Ashla and Bogan…Dark and Light), the more I learn about myself, how I am defined, and what my Path truly means. In a battle between Good and Evil. I am no evil character. I do not believe the Sith to be evil in terms of our reality, but more or less gazed upon as being more selfish and self-concerned which marks them as the bad guys. But, the Sith at least try to take action for something that they believe in…be it power, be it an obessession or thoughts of vengeance. At least, if a Sith wants something, they will do everything in their power to make it happen, rather than sit around and wait.

I agree that nowadays a lot of Sith Orders come across as a competition of who is the most psychotic, whose father loved them the least, and who has the biggest criminal record and/or the sickest fantasies. But, this is not real Sithism, this is not what the Dark Side is. This is not true to what I learned, what I forsaw at SA, what I feel when I repeat the Dark Mantra. Still…

…Sithism has its flaws, and with it, I also see the flaws in the Light-Side. The fact that people who are based in understanding can be so closed minded. To say that their way is the only way is no better than a Christian saying that if you do not go to church on Sunday or if you do blah, blah, blah then you are going to hell. I have watched so many intellectuals get ignored, get showered in excuses for their answers, for their inquiries merely because they dare question what has been written…they dare think outside a teaching, and for that, they are shunned. While I still believe in The Force and know it to be my way…as more and more days pass and I wander among the forums, I start to lose hope in all that had thought so highly of before. I am seeing the struggles of those who truly want to reach enlightenment but are shot down by others of higher rank…I see how this world is on a scale where one side is dreamers, and the other side are rampaging idiots, and it does not scare me so much as it makes me sad.

But, going back on my Path I used to think of myself as a balanced Aspect…50% Light and 50% Dark. I wanted to balance out my Sith Lord Title with a rank of Jedi Knight and evenly mix the two teachings to create a Grey Aspect. Now I see where that plan was flawed from the start. While I am good in nature and therefore Light-sided in accordance to reality…in accordance to spirituality, that is not so much the case. The more I learn in Light and Dark sides, I can see where Sithism suits me more, it holds more for me personally, and I make more progress through it because it is something that I personally believe in truly and often without question. I can see where action is necessary, passion is what brings results…and that’s what I want is results! I can see the realistic view of things, see that dreams cannot fix a world that is rapidly falling apart. I can see that veil of beautiful lies that shroud society’s face and I yearn to rip it off of them, undo the knot, and give them Endarkenment…the harsh truth, to save them.

Strange as it may sound…there really is no other way for me to explain it. People in this world have either seen too much truth and have gone insane, they have not seen truth because of the veil and they live in a fantasy land of false hopes and dreams, or, they could face truth and overcome it, take action to change it…

So…whereas I used to say I was a Balanced or Grey Aspect…I take that back. It’s a Shadow Aspect. An aspect that still respects others and will still help…but it is an aspect based mostly in darkness, one of harsh truth, and still mostly selfish as one must help themselves before they can help others (same as people would say one must love themselves before loving others).

These…realizations are slowly helping me to become the Darth I am meant to be. To finish my Temple with a strict curriculum and bring my idea of “Atlas” to life…it leads me to that place of being Empress where I will not only hold a title which asks for respect, but I will show then on many accounts that my title alone does not only require it, but, that I earned it.

So…right now I will continue with IJRS lessons and start TotJO’s first major lesson tomorrow. I will continue from the Foundation Assignments to the Self-Training at OotS and I should continue writing on Atlas as soon as I start learning a few more things about the Fictional Sith and how I can add that into an ideology or model of what a Sith-Realist should be (but not in an evil conquering way…more as in conquering your own personal weakness and taking control over your life and etc.).
This is the plan…but, we will see how all of that rolls.

OH…and I need a new name…


Taking the Title: Darth Larken awakens.


In all my teachings of Sithism, their universe of power and passion seemed to revolve around ranks. Ranks showed what you accomplished, the tasks you had completed. It showed your pain and suffering as you strove for new heights, it showed your struggle as you crawled along the ground, begging for just a taste…a mere drop of power and a strange sense of control.
At the Sith Academy, I can at least say that they did one thing right. They had the Masters who were always there to teach, they had a structured curriculum to help their Acolytes grow into something greater than what they arrived as. They actually had lesson plans that would boost one in ranks, to give them that taste of power so that they wanted more (it also kept only dedicated people around because the tasks could be somewhat tedious and required actual work). But, the most elusive rank of them all was Darth.
Naturally, this rank only applied to the Founders.
But, on rare occasion…someone could boost themselves to this rank. Usually it was based in mere favoritism. It was handed out more like a gift rather than something that actually had to be accomplished. Granted, this did not mean that the strongest did not get this rank…as the stronger people did. But, what goes for the others? People who stayed on that site such as myself…people whose whole effort was poured into making SA something that was great? What of them?
You see, I was (at highest) a Lord on that site before I took my leave. Ranks were always changing, at one time I was going to be made Prophet (which was higher than Lord) until they scrapped that rank idea, and we stayed at our basic structure to keep things more organized.
I ran the site for awhile…I was on there constantly, posting lectures, teaching apprentices, helping people reach out to their dark sides. But, the funny thing is…in all this time of being a Sith, and excelling in the Dark Side of The Force…there was one major lesson that never hit home, one major lesson that I missed.
In Sithism…if you want something YOU TAKE IT.
All of this came to my mind a week ago.
Someone whom I respect greatly in The Force, made it a point to say they respected as a Lord and even asked if I would prefer to be called ‘Darth’ Larken. I thought about this for a moment, and my mind automatically made up its mind that I should not be called this as it was a title that was never ‘given’ to me. After this conversation, I then had a nagging feeling within myself. I had this terrible aching and this headache…more like a feeling of annoyance with myself. But why?
The more I pondered on it…the more that hunger started to grow. That thirst for power within me…the beast was stirring. That’s when I realized how much this man’s words had truly affected me. He said I had all but earned the title Darth long ago. With my writings, with my ability to teach others, with how I excelled at SA…I belonged to be in that top rank of those who understood that Dark Side…that realm of a different kind of power. With my knowledge and understanding, I should have risen to the top long ago.
Now I was sitting there thinking on those words I had typed…how the title had not been ‘given’ to me, and therefore I could use it. Bah! I spit on the idea. I live by the Sith Code…ever day my life is poured into this Creed…this mantra of power. It moves me, it flows through me at every waking moment. It fuels me. What more can I say? True…I am a Light-sider, but only in accordance to reality. The Force is something more than that, and while I am a Shadow Aspect…the shadow, the darkness shows more than my light-sided frame on that scale.
At SA we were always challenged to take that which we wanted. Then we would defend what we had taken, and that was our true test. But, I never had to fight for what I wanted. Only on rare occasions did I have to defend myself and my accomplishments from someone else because of their ignorance or impatience. Other than that, I was never the wolf in the pit, fighting over scraps with the other scragglers. I was always above because someone wanted me there. I wanted to be there as well…but on my own terms and conditions.
So, for the first time…I know now what lesson I was missing. I know why others found me so weak-hearted, so Light. Now for the first time I am understanding the concept of taking what you want and achieving something great. Darth Larken has awoken from her slumber…and with this awakening is going to be some changes. It will take years no doubt…but, I am starting my own Sith Temple.
I will only take in those who can show me they are dedicated. I don’t want dreamers or role-players…I want people who will take action!!! I want people who can demonstrate for me, true power. Sithism is not about those who are the most psychotic, or those who have seen the most death, or walked the most pitiful road. It is about taking what you want, defending it from others with fist, with steel, with mind, with anything you have because your whole ‘self’ and everything around is a weapon…
So then, I dare someone to complain. Whine about my rank, my title, my right to power…try and take it from me in any way you can. You shall not break me, you shall not defeat me, you can’t. When this Temple rises…this new child of mine, it will be small, it will look like any other board. But, there will be something there, something that every other place anymore seems to truly lack…and that is passion. Anyplace can claim to have power…but true power only comes with passion and understanding. I am bringing this back to the Dark Side of The Force.

Darkness be with you…always.

Darth Larken of the Sith.