Archive for March, 2014

Butthurt much?

Posted: March 29, 2014 in Ranting/Venting

So…most people know me as Mia or Element, but, my main religious handle when it comes to Force-User websites is Larken. I called out the Black Dragon Empire on their new scam for power.
All they want is money, and all they can make are fake promises that will never be kept. They are not evil…not even close. They are just stupid.

So, I happened to post their videos on a humor-section within some of the Sith websites in which I attend. On TOTJO, their first video (which I posted in another entry) was also a laughing stock of funny comments about their “drinkable mojo”, on Mortose’s site, it was in the humor section to which Imperius (now known as Amon Kahn) saw it as mocking, and had to make a response video.

I would like to say how fancy that vibrator is…I only wish that mine were really that pretty ūüėČ
Still, this video does not insult me. In fact, it just shows how low they really go. They say that our words and mocking mean nothing, but, be that true…then why must they address Mortose and I like this? Why tip your hat to us and say you will be meeting us in hell? I can garuntee everyone that…wherever death leads me, it will not lead me to where Ravenus and Imperius lay. Their lost souls have no say in where the Path will take me and my destined life beyond my last breath.

Still…found it funny. I’m actually looking forward to the next installment.

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Creed 101: Beginning Exercise

Posted: March 28, 2014 in IJRS Courses

‚ÄĘ Beginning Exercise:
There is no emotion, there is peace
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no death, there is The Force.

‚ÄĘ Assignment:
To begin learning about the Code, take some time (I will not tell you how much‚Äďthat is up to you and the Force) to read over a few times this version of the Jedi Code. When you are ready, record your thoughts on it. First over all‚Äďhow does it make you feel when you contemplate it? Maybe it doesn‚Äôt make you feel anything? There are no right or wrong answers to this exercise.
Next, take each line and record how YOU would define its meaning. Again, there are no wrong or right answers. The point of this exercise is to let you see where you are at the beginning of this course.
Please post your findings(and all future assignments)in your Training Journal and on the Creed 101 training area of the IJRS Forums. Once you have done that task, you will be ready to move onto the first lesson.

 

‚ÄĘ Answer:
When I read the Jedi-Code over to myself and in my head, it does nothing…it does not speak to me, does not make me rethink my life or the way it is being lived. But, perhaps this is because there is a different code for the Jedi that I think fits me more personally, and works best with what I am all about. This code almost seems like it is trying to cancel something out of existence…to erase the first thing so that only the second thing remains.

Perhaps I am taking it all wrong and it is merely saying that in Jedi-Realism the first thing does not exist, but the second thing does…and it is not really speaking about reality itself.
Because…going to into the second part of the assignment and dissecting each line of the code:
‚ÄėThere is no emotion, there is peace.‚Äô
To be taken literally would mean that there should be no emotion in this world…that there should only be peace. But, as most know, I am a Shadow aspect in the Force…a Dark Jedi, and to me, this notion is unrealistic. Emotion is all part of being human, and humanity…the act of being human is not just something that we can throw away.

Peace is also something I consider to be a dream and nothing more. As I have explained countless times…the Light cannot exist without the Dark. Good does not exist without Evil…for, without Evil, how would we be able to define what is good anyways? Life cannot exist without War, for War is what keeps the world in balance, in check. Power struggles, terrorism, they are all things that are inevitable.
If every person in the world could just take what they need (and took nothing more), then everyone could get by with enough to survive and be happy. But, there will always be someone who wants more, who feels as though they deserve more, and they will take more than their share, knowing that someone else might go without. It is something we cannot change, as that is how the world works. I’m not saying that there might not be calms in this world, breaks in which harmony can be achieved for a set time…but something will always come to challenge the Light, Evil will always come to test the might of the Good.
If this applied strictly to Jedi-Realism and not reality itself…then it would make sense that Jedi are weary of emotion for emotions can cause bouts of doubt and weakness. The emotions we have can lead people to the Dark Side, just negative emotions and feelings in general, and thus, a Jedi cannot have these emotions, must not feel these emotions, but be at constant peace with themselves and ultimately aim for the peace of the World.
‚ÄėThere is no ignorance, there is knowledge‚Äô.
To be taken literally as in accordance to reality, this might just be true. There is not a single person in this world that is un-knowing of something, and therefore, in some way, everyone is knowledgeable‚Ķbut, we also know that ignorance (as more of an insult) is something that occurs in reality. There are ignorant people out there, and no shred of what they might ‚Äėknow‚Äô makes them anything more or less of this.
But in accordance to Jedi-Realism, Ignorance cannot exist, for a Jedi’s power is through knowing and through understanding. I can relate to this, for knowledge, to me, is power. To know an enemy is to defeat an enemy, and to know something is to overcome it.
‚ÄėThere is no passion, there is serenity.‚Äô
The definition of passion is a ‚Äúbarely controllable emotion‚Ä̂Ķand that exists in everyone. Passion is a human experience that we all go through at some point. Whether that passion be in love of a person, or love of an art, or perhaps it is through other means that we find this ‚Äėpassion‚Äô‚Ķbut it is there. To say that it cannot exist in reality, is again, to try and throw away one‚Äôs humanity.
Even in Jedi-Realism, to barely makes sense to me why passion cannot exist within the Light aspect of The Force. Passion does not have to be a negative thing. There are many positive examples of passion (like I mentioned before…being the love of a person or an art). Yes, passion can be destructive, and yes, that would mean opening the floodgates of emotion…but either way, it’s the way in which you harness this passion which should truly matter on its existence.

Serenity exists in reality though it is harder for most people to harness, use, and come to a state of mind with. Defined as: ‚Äúthe state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.‚ÄĚ Is harder for humans to do because life is full of stressers. It would make sense that those in Jedi-Realism would strive for this, as a calm and clear mind is a powerful mind (same as they say a focused mind is a deadly mind).
So, at this point, I do not believe the Code is speaking literally, for such things as passion could not be cancelled out of existence. Not forever, not throughout an entire race. Ignorance could be dealt with (perhaps)…but not emotion in its purest form.
‚ÄėThere is no death, there is The Force‚Äô.
This last verse all comes down to your particular beliefs, and really, it could mean anything. We do not know what happens after we draw our last breath. Whether it be Heaven or Hell, whether it be Nothingness or Reincarnation, no one knows until they are there. Me, personally…my views come from my time studying Wicca.
I’m a firm believer that we are on a mission to become perfect souls through multiple experiences. We die, and then we are reborn as someone/something else, over-and-over so that we might experience all things. In one life, on might be a cop so that they learn of justice and the law, the next life…they are the robber that robs a bank, keeps a hostage, so that they might learn greed, and injustice. As souls we learn both good and evil, and, once our journey is complete, we return then to the Divine (or in this case The Force). The End.
So‚Ķin reality, you would never be able to cancel out death, for death is taken different ways among everyone, and face it‚Ķdeath is something that happens. Whether that is defined merely as a heart stopping or a soul leaving a body, the meaning is personal and varies. In Jedi-Realism and in speaking of Jedi in general‚Ķthey would belief that death does not exist because all things are part of The Force while living, and therefore even after ‚Äėdying‚Äô one would continue to go on through The Force, and therefore could not be considered ‚Äėdead‚Äô as it is still in existence.
Either way, this is just how I see it at the moment, and look forward to what these lessons might teach me as I progress further on.

I seriously did not think that they could get any lower than what they are. Look at what this world is coming to. So…this is what power is? showing off your weapon? Wearing masks and cheap costumes and promising something that you cannot even provide?

I placed this in the humor section of several Sith websites just because…this is so pathetic that it comes off as funny. Two people swearing that all shall fall before them when they don’t have…anything! They left the path of The Force, they lost their power when they let fall their mission, when they gave up their dream, and forgot what it meant to be endarkened. Even as someone who is not even Sith, I would say that my alignment with Bogan is darker than they could ever wish to be…because they are role-players…sad, little role-players, and they can no longer even be called Shadows of what they used to be.

Congratulations you two…Ravenus, you have gone mad, and you have taken down the brilliant mind of Imperius with you. You have killed your passion. I used to hate you…and now, I merely pity your souls.

Brushing the Dark

Posted: March 27, 2014 in Meditation

8855342-darkness-master

Brushing the Dark: A Meditation
Lord Larken
3.26.2014

What is Light and what is Darkness?

These are typical questions posed by Force Users, and they ask this because they want to know where you stand on the spectrum, how you fit with their ideologies. They want to mold you, and, in order to do this, they need to know who and what you are, and your beliefs in these two things so that they can shape you into something new.
…but here’s the thing: do they even know what the Light and Darkness is?
You see, today I was thrust into a tunnel of darkness. Having sunk to the bottom of a cold pond and gotten stuck in the black mud which was the bottom, I found myself pulled into this foreboding tunnel. Instantly I felt the hairs on my arms raise. I knew that physically, I was not really in this place…but, I was still feeling fear. I was truly afraid.
Unlike most tunnels in which you know has an ending…this one kept going. It was straight, and yet, there was no light at the end of it, no change in shape which would hint that there was ever an opening. It was cold…so cold. Cold enough that it did not even make me shiver as much as it made me grind my teeth because I was feeling pain.
Yes, it was a pain like needles being stuck into the joints in my fingers, being jabbed straight into my knuckles, and even though I wanted to turn back, I couldn’t. I could not even try.
While at first it felt as though I was moving forward on my own accord, I was slowly starting to realize that this was not the case. Something was dragging me, pulling me along as if my clothes had hooks through them and I was on a conveyor line, like beef to the slaughter. But even though I was afraid, my heart was not pounding in my chest. I was still breathing slowly…my own energy had gone silent, and my heart was beating (from what it seemed) barely at all. Either way…the further I went down this line, my feet continued to move, but movement itself became harder. Suddenly it was like my own feet were stuck in something like thick mud or molasses.

The force kept pulling me forward, and something was trying to slow this journey or possibly stop it… but, whatever held me was much too strong.
The tunnel had no definition at first. Maybe it was old, maybe it was rusty…I would not have been able to say. But, between the blasts of cold, the gripping fear, and the painful spikes to the knuckles, I finally reached out with my hands. I was trying to grab something, anything! I needed to see, needed to feel something other than this tugging which was dragging me down this endless path…and then I felt it. Something cold and something smooth like steel…though it had no color. Nothing in this place had color. Not even me…I had no color. Because I could see nothing…I…saw…nothing. But I felt everything.
Stranger still was this feeling which reminded me of steel. Because, while smooth at first, it back to pull apart. To move and spin, and it took awhile, as my fingers bounced over it (through my gliding motion because ,y feet had stopped moving I suppose). I was feeling not one tunnel…but multiple tunnels. Tunnels that hummed and thrummed with an energy that was passing through it. Finally I was hearing noises, and I could hear how they wound and shot off in many different directions. These energies were on a set path…but they were wound like the roots of a tree. They had to be. To which I then assumed that these things were essences. Different parts of one thing…that one thing being the source, being the person I was meditating with and reaching out to.
After this, it seemed like I finally came to a halt…came to a complete stop. I was stuck. While all these different tubes could be heard running off in different directions, there was no direct way to the source. To that place where I needed to be. So, how was I going to get there?
I was told many different ways of doing this‚Ķthis was my meditation, my vision and thus I could do what I pleased. I could just ‚Äėbe‚Äô there at the source if I so chose. But, all my attempts left me stuck. I would either float or I would fall‚Ķmy conscious applying too many things to an experience that was supposed to be so‚Ķopen and uninhibited.
I could not tell you what I did…I still do not even know myself. I pretended as if the tubes were mere vines that I could push away. Like it was a curtain of beads to a doorway. Whatever it was, it worked…but where I found myself was scarier still than the journey.
I was in a room‚Ķa room of color. But, it could not really be a color because I cannot name what color it truly was. It is nothing that is on the spectrum of the things we know, it wasn‚Äôt black, and it wasn‚Äôt white, and you could not see corners, nor ceilings or a floor. Where I stood‚ĶI just ‚Äėwas‚Äô. I was just ‚Äėthere‚Äô. Not floating, not falling, not even standing or sitting. I was ‚Äėbeing‚Äô.
There were no shapes here…no sounds, nothing that I could even truly pick up. And yet, there had to be noises because something was so piercing in my mind that my head began to throb. Something was so powerful that my chest began to ache as if someone was giving me several severe jabs to the ribs with a blunt object. There had to be something here because I was feeling something…feeling everything…but in this space of nothingness.

It was here…in this moment, that I realized something:
My abilities, my beliefs, and my philosophies have always been in terms of The Force…as a religion and as a lifestyle. My views on the world has always come from these beliefs and how they function, how they define themselves, and etc. But, in defining the Light and Dark in terms of a religion, and in defining Light and Darkness in terms of something that does not even encompass all of life and living…I have now figured out that I, like so many other, have never seen true Light nor Darkness and cannot even begin to understand them or truly know what they mean.
It’s weird‚Ķbut this knowledge does not insult me. It enlightens me. It excites me to know that there are universe out there still to explore. New paths to look at, new things to meditate upon, new powers to acquire. This knowledge has not hindered my ability to learn, it has not pushed me back, but, it has given me a shove forward.
Still…now having had a taste of what Darkness is…I now know what people are saying when they take to me as someone of the Light. Because, having had this taste of Darkness, I know that this is not where I meant to be. It is not something I want to embrace, to try and become a part of. So yes…in terms of The Force, I am still Grey. But, in terms of life…I am Light.
Selfishness, Greed…these are not things in the Darkness. This alone does not make you dark. Hunger and Passion alone does not make you Dark because the Dark has no need of any of this. The darkness in itself is everything and nothing, and it cares not for petty human nature or traits.
I look forward to looking into this more on a much deeper level.

LaRkEn’s Foundation Assignments

·         Assignment #1

What is the Dark Side?
What are some of your experiences in exploring it?
What does “darkness” mean to you?

What led you to the Sith Way, and how is Darkness relevant to you?

 

Answer:

What is the Dark Side? That really depends on what you are talking about‚Ķwhen something is referred to having gone to ‚Äúthe dark side‚ÄĚ, it usually has some evil annotation to it, as if someone went from doing all the good and right things to doing the opposite which are all the wrong and bad things. Going to the dark side if often referred to as being traitorous to someone else‚Äôs wants‚Ķbut in the case of Sithism, that is not what the Dark Side is at all (in my opinion). When it comes to being a Force User, one of the main differences between the Jedi and the Sith are their focus and priority. While Jedi-Realism is about bettering the self, ultimately, their goal is bettering the World, helping others, and focusing on peace.

Sithism is something different‚Ķit is not only the bettering of the self, it is control over the self, it is power through self, it is passion, and ultimately is considered more of a selfish art and lifestyle. Personally I consider Sithism to be more of the realistic side of things‚Ķ But, to me, the Dark Side is merely part of the balance‚Ķpart of the whole ‚Äėtruth‚Äô, and it is just another aspect of The Force that we are constantly trying to understand.

As I have mentioned in my introduction, my entry into the world of Sithism was as a spy. Just as I had come into Jedi-Realism, it was pure curiosity and boredom which lead me to investigate whether or not Sith really existed…and that’s when I found the Sith Academy. When I first started reading their forums and teachings, I was appalled. It was a male-dominated site and they did not seem like anything less than terrorists. Scared out of my mind, I informed one of Jedi instructors on this, and she laughed. She told me that the Sith were no threat to Jedi in any way, and that I was best just to leave the site alone and never go back. Still, I wanted to play hero, and so, I kept spying in hopes that I might find something to aid the Jedi community.

It was during this time that I started pulling away from Jedi-Realism because it felt like there was something missing. I did not agree with all the things I was being taught, and thus, I started to become more involved in Sithism…only this time, I dropped the spy act and took it on as an actual Acolyte…and I excelled. Taking the things I had kept bottled during my courses in Jedi-Realism, I found that these were the qualities that the Sith at SA were looking for. A realistic personality with passion and emotion…Someone longing for control, a life of power and glory. I was someone that had gone onto their site in a completely different skin, and shocked them with my knowledge, shocked them even moreso with the fact that I was indeed a female, and they were impressed with my addiction to learning.

I grew in ranks rather quickly‚Ķfrom a lowly Acolyte to an Apprentice of Ravenus. Then from there I was granted the title of Master where I taught Religious Studies and ‚ÄúInfiltration‚ÄĚ (basically how to role-play and pretend to be someone completely different. Nothing difficult‚Ķbut for some people, the task seemed impossible because they could not mask their true personalities). Doing real-world missions and exercises earned me the title ‚ÄúLord‚Ä̂Ķfor awhile (a couple of weeks) I even ran the site for Ravenus, and, when Imperius went missing (the one with the vision of Darth Omega), my insight in meditations was what made Ravenus make me the next Prophet‚Ķthough that was quickly shut down when SA took its bad turn, ran off the Path to Endarkenment, and I left with one final blog and a bow.

My next run in with Sithism was when another Lord of SA joined forces with me and a few others to create TotSO (Temple of the Sith Order). The site had promise, and while I was not very active due to my job‚ĶI was ‚ÄúHigh Lady‚ÄĚ and part of the ‚ÄúCouncil of Nine‚ÄĚ which would develop the curriculum for others. The site only lasted a few months however, and was eventually shut down (much to my dismay)‚Ķthus, I have been wandering ever since, longing to find another home where I might share my experiences and regain my high title.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of the word ‚Äúdarkness‚ÄĚ is the void‚Ķsomething unknown, something very powerful, and something that is oftentimes feared because it is so unknown. Darkness to me thus screams a force not to be messed with, something very strong indeed. Because the darkness is something that is so unknown, it‚Äôs almost like a blank canvas. You make anything with it because there is nothing laid out in front of you‚Ķthus nothing you can truly expect, you can only create, fantasize, and make your own reality. Just as exercising has a different result with everyone, the Dark Side is the same. No one has the same outcome, learns the same things, and takes with them the same lessons which they will apply in their life‚Ķit is something personal and unique.

So…the reason I came to learn the way of the Sith was because I found that I desired a more realistic approach to things. I know that life is not all sunshine and rainbows and I need balance in order to advance, to keep growing, learning, and changing. Not only do the positive outcomes in life shape us…the negative ones shape us, teach us, and make us stronger as well. Life is all about the light and the dark coming together to form one entity of enlightenment and truth…this is what I believe. Thus, the Dark Side is relevant to me because it is part of that balance. It is the black to the white which creates that middle ground of grey. I need the control over myself, power through myself…so that I may then be able to truly help others in a more realistic light. This is why I have come to Order of the Sith, because there is still so much that I do not know, and there is so much I have yet to Master so that I may feel whole and balanced in all things.

·         Assignment #2

What is a Sith?
Where does your current understanding come from?
What makes the Sith, as a way of life, a path, important to you?

 

Answer:

These questions are harder to answer because some of what I believe Sithism is and Sith are‚Ķit was said in the last assignment (and if there is one thing I despise, it is repeating myself). A Sith by plain terms would be someone that has Chosen something of the left-hand spirituality, someone that has embraced the Dark Side and thus has embraced the harsh truths of reality. As the code says,‚ÄĚPeace is a lie‚ÄĚ, and as another quote goes: ‚ÄúIt is a dog-eat-dog world‚Ä̂Ķthe Sith understands this better than anyone, and uses The Force to better themselves in order to face these challenges and overcome life‚Äôs obstacles.

My understanding of the Sith and Sithism started with Sith Academy (because that is where my training began)…so, to me, the ultimate goal of Sithism used to be the creation of a superhuman race of soldiers that would eventually lead the planet and be able to defend against outside forces within the endless universe. This is what Imperius saw…this is what he fed to us on that silver spoon engraved with the SA insignia. But, this was just something of a fantasy. While I still do believe that a true Sith can move past human limitations to reach new heights of Power…this vision of a super race of soldiers and a war-torn planet, barren and bloody…well, that vision from my meditation has long since gone, and I’m not sure if or when it will ever come back.

Nowadays…Sithism is still a way of selfish betterment. It is empowerment and the ability to overcome all obstacles no matter the situation. It is all about control…control over the mind, control over the body, control over spirit. In itself, Sith are people who are in control, that use their teachings to be able to not only read themselves and others…but also to manipulate and conquer. This is what I think because this is all I have ever known…but I am here to possibly learn something different if this is the case. I am here to expand on my knowledge…thus, as of right now, my definition of Sithism and the Sith as people are still under construction. I am still building upon that mental image of what I personally think a Sith should be. Calm, collected, powerful, and in control. Strong and solid…like a brick wall.

So…to answer the last question, I will say this: The one thing I have always struggled with in life is control. As a person, I have always felt like I do not hold the proper control over my surroundings and my situations. I often fall into bad instances and wonder what I could have done to have grabbed the reigns a little tighter…as a person, I fight often with my emotions which are fueled by my passions, and again, it is something I feel like I have no control over. Once that nerve has been struck, my emotions flood out like a stream of fire following a trail of gasoline…and I know for a fact that blind rage is not a power, it is a weakness which often leads to harm of self, and in more serious cases, can even lead to casualty.

But, if there is one thing that I have learned from my classes in Jedi-Realism it is that the body is always changing…and not only physically. Just as our tastebuds change and our eyesight gets worse, so does our mind continue to expand and learn and change according to the lessons we have taken and begun to apply to said-life. So as long as I am on the forums and in the Temples…so will my mind continue to expand and I will learn different techniques in which to strengthen myself in body and soul, and that knowledge will carry over to others in which I converse with…and this path and lifestyle is important to me because it does offer me what I want and the tools that I think I need.

Things to harness my visions, to gather my energies  and turn it into energy in which I can then materialize anything I want just by thought alone (same as the concept of Sympathetic Magicks in Wicca and other Pagan beliefs). The control needed to focus my energies elsewhere instead of fueling negative emotions which would get me nowhere. Sithism is important to me as a lifestyle because it is part of that balance that I believe to be my personal truth. I am a Grey aspect…and what is grey without the black to the white?

I have answered this question so many times. I answered it while at Sith Academy as an Acolyte wearing a different skin, I answered it several months later once I had ranked up and my true self was revealed…both times the answers were very different due to experience. This is where I stand with my answers as of right now…but I can guarantee you that these answers will change with time. I would truly think that this is the point of these exercises anyways…
As Darth Draconis said, ‚ÄúIt is just a starting point‚ÄĚ.

·         Assignment #3

What are emotions?
What purpose, if any, do they serve?
Which ones are most important?
Do you think it’s important to have an awareness of your emotions?

 

Answer:

I will start this off by saying that, when I started studying at IJRS, I did this test which determined that I was what they call an Empath. I am constantly being affected by the emotions of others, and have a hard time determining which emotions are my own, and/or how to control all my emotions at once…so, emotion has always been a struggle yet a fascinating subject for me.

So…emotions to me are like all the cogs that make up a machine. Every single one has its own function, and many of the cogs work together to make one motion. This is merely how I see it. Positive emotions fuel other positive emotions which then fuel and move the human body in a positive way. Negative emotions can do multiple things…sometimes they act as aggressors, pushing the other cogs harder and faster than they were moving before, which can sometimes lead to a meltdown. Sometimes, negative emotions can become stuck which then prevents other cogs from moving which is then considered a hindrance on the human body, keeping it from functioning properly.

Such emotions which are aggressors can be things like Rage, Hate, and the feelings of Vengeance and etc. When these emotions flood the mind, the body oftentimes acts without any sense of logic or reason, and can be very dangerous if not handled carefully (for the self and for others). Some people use negative emotions as a type of power, but in truth, they are more of weakness because the mind is so clouded and the body is then left open to attack. So, to me, they have no purpose…and cannot even be considered a last-ditch effort to get what you want. These negative emotions are (to me) a weakness, and the only purpose of having these emotions are to train the body to be rid of them.

Hindering emotions are sadness…things like loneliness, and depression. Things such as these generally have no purpose…if they did have one purpose, it would be as a trial. It would be a teaching experience in which one must overcome such hindrances, oil the cogs, and get the machine moving again.

The other emotions (the more positive ones) we know of well‚Ķfeelings of happiness, of love—things like excitement, and surprise.¬† They are the memories and experiences that keep us going when we are at our lowest. They are a muse, they inspire us, they remind us who we are, what we have, and what we strive for. Love allows us to live and fight for something greater than ourselves‚Ķit can be selfish but at the same time, not so. It can shatter us into pieces, and it can lift us out of the dark. Moments of happiness are our goals and dreams materializing right in front of us‚Ķit is our family and the people we care about coming together and creating precious moments. It is a night out with friends that can never be forgotten.

Now that I think about it‚Ķthe question asks,‚ÄĚWhat purposes do emotions serve?‚ÄĚ — and I am not really sure if there is an answer to that. I know that, in Jedi-Realism it is said that the body can be trained to rid itself of the negative emotions which serve no purpose‚Ķbut, as I mentioned above, negative emotions do indeed serve a purpose which is to test us, to try us, and to help us overcome obstacles so that we may learn from this and become stronger and better than before. Positive emotions‚Ķwhat do they serve then other than to remind us that we are alive? Other than to remind us that reality is not as dreary as it seems and that the world holds lots of love and beauty, what else can be said about positive emotions other than it is the Light to the Dark? Such as The Force is balanced between its light half and its dark half‚Ķso is the human body in a constant struggle for balance between positive and negative emotions.

Emotions serve the purpose then to help us find our true self and that middle ground.

With that being said, there are no emotions which are most important because they are all part of the experience. There are no emotions that stand out from the others because they will all be felt and we will learn from all of them in the quest to discover our personal truth.

As for the last question…I do agree that one needs a constant awareness about emotions. The thing is, we can do stupid things when blinded by both negative and positive emotions. While people have blamed their anger on making dumb decisions…how many times have you heard of someone making dumb decisions because they were in love?

Knowing your emotions is like having to know your surroundings. When I first came to Germany, I had no clue where I was, knew nothing of the culture, the language, or etc. It was really bad because I was dependent on so many people, it left me weak and helpless…I was vulnerable. Emotions are the same way. When you are unaware of your emotion, unawares of what is currently driving you whether it be anger or feelings of love, you are leaving yourself vulnerable. Vulnerable to hurt, vulnerable to foolish spending, vulnerable to harsh words which could end friendships or break a heart. Granted, these are all part of the experience, but through this experience, being aware of what is happening in your heart and mind is a good asset.

I am sure I will come to revisit this question later.

Assignment #4

What weaknesses and strengths do others see in you?
Where do you see shortcomings in yourself?
What are 3 aspects of the Sith Way that resonate with you, and why are they important to you?

 

Answer:

I can honestly say that my weaknesses and strengths have changed a lot since I started my Force training last year. Luckily for me, I chose a Jedi class which was all about oneself, and it helped tackle a lot of the things that I had trouble changing and overcoming, but, that does not mean that I am without flaw.

I will start with discussing weaknesses, since those are still so prominent within myself…

The biggest of my weaknesses is FEAR (and others point out my insecurity and paranoia quite often): fear of variables, fear of future hypotheticals, sometimes it can even be fear of change even though change is needed in order to keep the mind flowing and to grow spiritually.¬† Fear can take hold of me in a matter of seconds, and when that happens, it is like my whole body goes into a frenzy. I fall into hysterics when everything is up in the air (and nothing seems like it has found a foundation)—when I start to think of all the bad things that could pop up in the future, it makes me want to curl into my bed and hide.
I am not sure when this fear became so…restricting. I have always been someone who is slightly paranoid and afraid of the unknown…but as of when this fear of mine became crippling, I would not even begin to tell you. All I know is that this fear is the weakness which hinders me the most…and it is something I am constantly trying to cope with and overcome.

Lately, my tool for overcoming my fear is to live in the present. By understanding that the future is awhile away and that nothing is set in stone, I try and enjoy each day as it happens. I know that fear over the unknown makes me crazy, and because of that, it keeps me from focusing on all the good things happening around me. When I am gripped by this fear, I cannot enjoy the company of others, I cannot enjoy the small little moments like laying in bed with a loved one, or drinking a favorite soda. In fact, when this fear takes hold of me, I cannot even enjoy my hobbies such as playing video games…and that is when you know there is something extremely wrong.

Another one of my weaknesses is my mouth (when I have finally snapped). One of my greatest strengths is my patience (which many people can attest to), but, that patience does not last forever. There have been very few times where I have lost my temper…but when I do, it is like someone has released the floodgates. Words of all kinds come flowing from my mouth, and I lose all sense of logic and truth. I will sit there and blurt out everything that is mean, hateful, hurtful, and etc. without a care in the world…and when it is all said and done, I have not only made myself look like a complete fool and child, but, I have hurt someone else that most likely did not deserve it. The best example would be to look at my introduction thread here…imagine that Ravenus’ childish rantings were my post…that is what it might be like if I lose my temper.

I also have problems with my mouth when I feel that I have been trapped in a corner. Oftentimes when I am feeling like the victim in a situation, I tend to sit there and babble in order to defend myself. Granted, one should always stick up for their beliefs, but, I tend to take it to the next level. Some would sit there and listen, but, when I should just let the other person calm down, or wait for a situation to blow over, I tend to keep ranting and carrying on which only makes the situation so much worse than what it would be otherwise. The thing is, like my other weaknesses, I realize that these things are happening, and yet, I do not seem to have the power to stop these things before they begin.

Granted, this weakness of the mouth is something very small. It only happens once in a great while, and oftentimes I can bite my tongue. But, I will say that the urge is still there to let out the Hulk every once in awhile, and I have yet to figure out a way to subdue such an urge.

As for a third weakness‚ĶI would have to mark my Depression down. While my fear and paranoia is part of my depression, the whole of it all is based in sadness and feelings that the world is ending around me. While my depression is a medical issue that could be treated with medicine‚Ķit is always something that I have preferred to tackle myself. But, as time goes on, I have found that adults have more triggers for depression than children do, and it seems like (even though I have improved) I am still fighting the losing battle. When depression hits me, I am in physical pain. Every muscle is sore, every part of me feels too weak to move. I end up shirking responsibilities so that I can lay in bed all day, look at my ceiling, and pout with thoughts of ‚Äúwhy me‚ÄĚ. It‚Äôs a pathetic scene really, and why I cannot seem to overcome all this is beyond me.

I treat my depression numerous ways…I fight it with good company, endulging in good company, or something else. Basically, there is nothing spiritual about this strategy, it is merely keeping myself so distracted that I forget that I am even sad. Sometimes this works, and other times I barely fool others let alone myself. Again, this is something that is trial and error, and will keep working on it until I find something that actually works.

I have tried reading books, tried lessons in things like access consciousness…but so far, I have not gotten around to applying such lessons because I am rather skeptical about it all, and the books bore me to tell you the truth.

‚Ķand speaking of boring, that leads me to this additional weakness (which others like to point out), and that is my lack of motivation. Motivation is hard for me, there are few things that really drive me in this world. I can sit there and tell you a billion reason ‚Äėwhy‚Äô I should do something, but, even with those reasons, it is probably not enough to get me to do something that I do not want to do.

Back in the USA, I was an airsoft player‚Ķand surprisingly enough, that motivated me enough to work out because it as something fun, something that made me feel strong, and something that (truthfully) made me feel sexy. I was in an area of my life, where my only goal was to be strong and be sexy for my woman whom had just left for the Army. This is what drove me to go against those thoughts that ‚Äėexercise is torture‚Äô, and really push myself to new limits. Plus, I was motivated by the fact that I was jealous of my woman for joining the Army when I never did‚Ķaaaaaand I was also training with an Army Veteran who would humiliate me if I performed poorly. So motivation for me, is a hit and miss. Sometimes, the only thing that motivates are the negative emotions‚Ķsometimes I have to use my other weaknesses and fears to motivate me. Sometimes, it‚Äôs the silly romantic things that motivate‚Ķand then sometimes, there is nothing in this world that motivates me. Again, still something I am trying to figure out so that I may come to better understand this weakness, and eventually, overcome it.

…

Now that we have discussed the weaknesses and shortcomings in myself, I can finally start to talk about my strengths (the ones others have seen in me as well).

I already mentioned patience. While it is something that does not last forever, I find that I am more patient than most people that I know. This is a great tool for both Light and Dark Aspects of The Force, and is something I am applying in my life constantly.

Another strength (that seems to go hand-in-hand with patience) is my understanding. Recently, there have been instances where I have been on a Jedi Forum, and rather than understand an individual, they start to make up their own diagnoses of why people do certain things, or act a certain, and/or even follow a certain path. Rather than understand someone‚Äôs calling, try and figure out their ideology and how they function, they want to slap labels on someone‚Ķcalling them ‚Äúsad‚ÄĚ, ‚Äúlonely‚ÄĚ, and ‚Äúattention whore‚ÄĚ and such. That is not the Jedi way‚Ķit is not the way of understanding. Rather than continue to talk with someone and really study them, eventually, it is like they are playing with a new toy, and then they just get bored and will make up any excuse in order to get some new plaything. This is merely my opinion on what I have observed‚Ķbut then again, I am always still looking and trying to understand. Because knowing someone, is only half the battle.

Another strength of mine, is the way in which I have been known to fuse together creativity and logical-thinking. It’s funny…they used to give us these tests every year in school (from 6th grade and up) to measure which side of the brain we were using more. In Middle School, I was lost in a fantasy world, and thus, the right-side of my brain was more dominant. Then, in High-School…I snapped out of that fantasy world, but only in a way that I could still use it as a muse, but apply real-world thinking to my studies, to my job, and to life in general. I found that the more years that passed in High-School, the more my brain became balance, until I was complete 50/50 in my senior year.

But now, looking at my brain recently, I have found that logical-thinking dominates me, and thus the left-side of my brain is used more than my right side. I attribute this to finally moving out on my own at 18, immigrating to another Country, and really just having to survive. Funnily enough, I still role-play on fantasy sites, still write my novels, still draw, still have crazy dreams…all the things that still make me a right-brained person, and yet, I am now left-brained, and it’s like I have the best of both worlds going on. I can take things that seem to not make sense, and I can make them work. Somehow, some way, I will figure out almost any situation if just given enough time. I find that this is one of my greatest strengths of all…only matched by my last strength, which is my determination.

Call it hard-headedness, call it stubborn, whatever you call it…I have determination like no other. When I found out that my woman was going to Germany, I freaked out. Everything was against. No one ever got their transfers approved for out of the Country when they weren’t sending away-teams. I could not get married (at the time) because of DOMA, so the Army would not sponsor me to go to Germany with my partner. I would only have 6-months to find a job once I got there otherwise I would get deported…either that or I could go to college there for 2 years, but either way, that was bad idea that would quickly fail because, I did not speak the language (fluently). I looked up plan A,B,C,D, and E…and even though everything looked grim, I was not going to give up.

Over a year later…here I am! Living in Germany after I got transfer. When I showed up here, I was homeless for 3 months, thought I would not get my visa. I have been kicked out of my apartment and had to get a new one, have been stuck eating soups for months just to get by at times…but I did it, I did it and will continue doing it until my partner and I can go home. Why? Because I am in love…and because I am determined. Because I like to figure out how to overcome all the obstacles in my life, because that is what I consider true power.

True power‚Ķ‚ÄĚthrough strength I gain victory‚ÄĚ, this is something that the Sith way is supposed to represent, and I believe in this and it is important to me because (as I just said) I want to overcome all obstacles in my life. Another quote from the Creed: ‚ÄúPeace is a lie‚ÄĚ, this too is a thought in the way of the Sith which is important to me because one must not shield themselves from what reality really is, else reality will crush them. This is just my personal belief. As for a last bit of the Sith Way that resonates with me‚ĶI have not thought about it in so long, I‚Äôm not even sure really. I will save this last bit for the final resource assignment, I think.

I am sure I will revisit this later. But that is really all I can think about at this moment in time.

Assignment #5:

Is this code viable or practical?
What personal experiences, if any, validate it?
How might it apply to you?
What are some of the ways you apply Sith teachings in your life, offline?

 

Answer:

The Sith Code:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

I think that the Sith Code is very viable and practical…it merely speaks truth about how harsh reality really is. The sole reason I am a Shadow Aspect is because I know the truth that the Dark Side tends to speak of…starting with the fact that Peace is a lie.
The thing is, we are creatures of greed…we are sinful, flawed, and we fall prey to things such as possession and gluttony. Humans would rather let others suffer if it means not having to suffer themselves. Look at how much we spend on the military (talking about the USA mostly). Billions upon billions of dollars go into making weapons, training soldiers, and researching new technologies to destroy our enemies quicker and more efficiently. The money we spend to help us in the wake of war, could feed those who are starving…it could almost end world hunger in itself.

But do we do it? Do we set aside the weapons and the pride? No.

Why?

Because‚Ķwe know that were we to grow soft, turn towards non-violence‚Ķwe would be overrun, attacked, ‚Äėoccupied‚Äô, seized by enemy forces, and the circle of balance, one of good and evil, would continue to turn. Even if we all set aside our differences, and gave up all we had just so that we could get by and nothing more‚Ķsomeone out there would be unhappy. Someone would think they deserve greater things, and, that ‚Äėsomeone‚Äô would find others like him or her‚Ķand conflict would come to the surface once more.

War and strife are inevitable…bloodshed between those with their differences, it is inevitable. There are two types of people in the world…those that serve others, and those that serve themselves. But, that does not mean those that serve themselves are evil…it merely depends on how it is they are serving themselves.

I have always seen Sithism as the pessimistic but logical world view‚Ķand Jedi-Realism was the dreaming hippie-vision of what the world would be if all people took good action. Jedi-Realism teaches the abandonment of negative emotions, and Sithism tells you to embrace such feelings in order to overcome obstacles. Sithism and the Sith Code preach ‚Äėpassion‚Äô which to me roughly translates a deeper type of motivation for the body and soul. Passion is not just an emotion, it is a fuel‚Ķlike gasoline to a fire. So yes, through passion (or passions), one would gain strength(s)‚Ķnot all in a physical sense mind-you, but in whatever area the person had passion in.

Someone with true passion for art, strives to become a successful and highly skilled artist. Someone whom has passion for music, strives to one day have their songs playing on the radio. Someone with passion for physical strength, honor, and discipline might join the military, make a career out of it, and become an honored hero. Passion is more than motivation, it is a way of life in itself…and it drives people down the path to improvement, to self-empowerment, self-betterment , and etc.

Through this change…through this improvement…one would become empowered, would become successful in their own right, and therefore it could be classified as a personal victory. They are now (through their successes, through overcoming their trials and obstacles) unchained, no longer bound by what they used to see as limitations…thus again, Sithism and the Sith Code particularly is more the Path we walk in life every single day.

Therefore, the Sith Code applies to me merely because I am human. Not because I am half a dark-aspect, not because I crave power, but just because I live.

I apply these lessons, these words, and this mantra to my every day life…it flows through me every time I take a breath, every time I tackle a project, every time I search for the will to continue on. I am reminded that I am human, and that obstacles were meant to be broke…that, at the end of this long road of traps and tricks, I will one day overcome everything, and through this personal success, through this victory, I will then know what it is like to have no limits, and I will be free.

Sounds repetitive, but, what else can I say? My views are simplistic in words because, this is more of something one must feel rather than read about‚Ķit is something that is (again) ‚Äėpersonal‚Äô and different for everyone.

Jedi Workout

Posted: March 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

Not really a post about anything. Just something for myself so I have the link on-hand:
http://neilarey.com/workouts/jedi-workout.html

But feel free to try out this Jedi Workout as well.

One thing that drives me nuts, is the fact that people are constantly posting on The Jedi Church (Facebook) page, and asking about things that have to do with love. Usually they ask whether or not they should be in a relationship, but then you get people that ask: “I am Gay, is this okay?” or, “What do you guys think about Bi-Sexuals?”

Really? What is this? (insert random-ass screaming about this not being a Baptist Forum or something similar).

Alright…I get it, the movies say that Jedi cannot have relationships because it interferes with their duties, training, blah, blah, blah…it’s a stupid rule, and, even when I was playing Star-Wars-the-old-Republic (SWtoR) I got really upset when we had to out the other Jedi that had fallen in love. I told the truth, but only because I wanted my reputation to stay blue…any other time, and I would have lied.

Anyways…it gets on my nerves because the Jedi of his day, this time…the “real” Jedi that actually exist in this universe…is a LOT different from that of the movies. It is a mish-mash of different religions and religious practices, all scrambled together to create a disciplined faction of modern-day knights. Still…I finally just snapped when I saw ‘yet another’ person making a post about their sexuality and whether or not it was ‘okay’…

It’s already sad enough in this day and age when someone thinks they have to ask about their sexuality and how it might affect enlightenment. Either way, this is my response to someone who asked about being Bi-Sexual:

I feel as though sexuality does not matter, and does not affect someone spiritually. Here is the thing, I see stuff on here often about people questioning whether or not they should have relationships due to the Jedi-rules from the movies…and the thing is, yes, this religion and lifestyle is based on what the movies have, but it is also another entity in itself entirely, and above all else, it is a personal path that should only be defined by you.

If someone does not agree with your sexuality and says that it is a problem, then, they are forgetting one of the key elements of being a Jedi, and that is “love”. Not only that, but, they are forgetting another key element (one that is forgotten more often than one would think), and that is “understanding”.

Jedi is different across the board…Temples teach it differently from website to website (what it is, how it functions, even the code can be modified at times), so what it comes down to is this: Do you see yourself as Jedi? Do you follow your views as a Jedi? Are you constantly trying to better yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually because you are Jedi? Did you answer yes to all of those questions? Then congrats…you are Jedi.
Does your sexuality affect any of those things above? Does being Bi-sexual keep you from improving anything? Does it keep you from following your Path? Does love keep you from spiritual growth and advancement? If you answered no to those questions then there you go. You are still Jedi, and you are fine.

 

So yeah, nothing too huge…but God, these questions get me fuming. Lets just say, some of the responses that this question got were okay, but sometimes, people just make me mad. As stated, the Jedi-Path (and any Force Path for that matter) is completely personal. Obviously you have places like TotJO that add their little Christian-twist to everything…and then you have places like IJRS which are more open, more accepting, more understanding, and more diverse in their lessons and teaching, but that focus more on the ‘personal self’ than other places I have been to.

Not any one person can to YOU what is the right Jedi-way and what is the wrong Jedi-way…only YOU can define this Path for yourself…and people in the Jedi Church seem to forget this, and/or have never known it to be in the first place.