Are we Soldiers? (Will revisit later) Attempt #1

Posted: January 27, 2014 in SITH-Related

Recently I was given a writing from Mortose and I said I would meditate upon the questions that the writing posed. I have not really had the time to take long-periods to meditate over such things, but, I have had the chance to briefly ponder over the writing…the questions, what certain things mean to me, and I think now I can begin to give something of an answer.

Here is the writing that was given to me:

Draco Mortose

Are we soldiers? Do we march in long lines for those things we believe in? Do we believe in anything enough to hold up it’s banner and proclaim it to the sleeping world? What do we fight for? I write here of the “Lords” and the “Masters” of the dark path. What do we march for? Do we march? What do we fight for? What would we die for? I can only answer these questions for myself, as this path takes different turns and is traveled differently for all who walk it.

Do I march? I can say that yes… I do. I do carry a banner and march through the sleeping wastes of what claims itself dark. I do seek to prove to those I see as fools that they are wrong… and there I have said it. “Wrong”, as if I know the sole “right” on this path. How utterly arrogant of me! So… Now, yes I still march but I do so to my own destination and for my own answers.

What do I fight for? Answers. I fight for my answers, to understand all I have experienced. To understand it so I can better use it. For what though? What can I better use it for? I can better use it to grow and accomplish those things I desire to accomplish. What do I desire to accomplish? Everyone wants personal power… Power over others. Well… Most do. So I want that but I also want this to be my last time around, my last existence as an incarnated being. That is a more difficult goal though, so I begin with understanding the dark. I crawl before I walk, then… I run… and then, I leap.

What would I die for? I would die in the attempt to get those things I desire. I would die following my passions. But for? Nothing! There is nothing that moves me enough to die for it as of yet. Now… Am I a soldier? No. I am not. I am an agent, one who uses deception, stealth, cunning and other facilities to get what I desire.

This writing is very interesting to me…because, being someone of balance, my wants and needs are not as selfish as that of other Dark Lords. Where many want Power, Answers, and etc. I want the simpler things…the things that are more light-sided that bring me joy and happiness.

So…is there something out there in which I believe in so strongly that I would carry a banner for it, proclaim it as my truth, and march in its name? As of right now? I am really not sure. While at one point during my time at SA I would have gladly held their banner and proclaimed it as truth in order to awaken the sleepers from their watered down truth of what reality really holds, I have no such allegiance to anything anymore…

But, if there was one thing in which I believed in, and one thing which I would march for, and do anything for, it would be Love. Love as emotion, drives me…it gives me my passion, helps me shape my ambitions, and I cannot see a world without it. Whether love of family, love of Country, love of self, or love of another…this world would be nothing without love. Not that  think anyone would ever speak out against it…but, if there was one thing I march for and constantly bring up in my writings as my fuel, my drive, and sometimes a hindrance in my growth, love would be it. Love would be what I would fight for, love is what I would march for, love is what I would be a soldier for…

It’s nothing spiritual…it’s nothing dark…it’s nothing greedy as it is only sometimes a thing of selfish desires. I’m not really sure this was what this writing really called for as far as answer…and the answer I give really tells nothing of how this applies to me with a balanced path…

It’s just that, I am not yet learned enough in The Force (or with my personal truth defined enough) in order to answer this question in-depth and with certainty. Meditating on such a thing would only wield the same answers. So, for now…we leave the question here…and we shall revisit this at a later date I am sure.

As long as it is here so that I will not forget it.

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