What is earned and earning?

Posted: June 23, 2013 in Ranting/Venting, SITH-Related, Uncategorized

As many know, I am no longer at Sith Academy, but I do still spend my time elsewhere at other Sith Temples that are being run by those I know and trust from the Academy. When I am not helping develop things for TOTSO, I wander around on the site known as “The New Sith Temple” which is operated by Darth Sanguinus—someone who I connected with greatly on a spiritual level (being we shared a similar ideology of Sithism) and who I count as a trusted Leader & Mentor because of his willingness to be open with new ideas and etc.

The New Sith Temple is something I have not fully immersed myself in…for me, I am still merely ‘trying it out’ to see what it holds. I find that it has many resources that I could use in my studies, but ultimately, I am still checking out the atmosphere of it all. Anyways, as with most Sith-sites and Force-user-sites in general, I was asked to create a Personal Holocron where all my training and experiences were to be posted. I started the Holocron by introducing myself and listing my experience with The Force.

No longer am I hesitant about being a Neutral Aspect, Shadow Jedi, and/or Light Sith. I bluntly state where I stand when it comes to The Force, and those that do not like it do not have to have anything to do with me if they so choose and please.

Anyways, part of my introduction consisted of my experiences as a Sith. I mentioned how I am a former Dark Lord of SA, current Dark Lady at TOTSO, and then how I have also been floating around The New Sith Temple without a rank to cling on to. While most responses to my posts were welcoming, there was one where I was basically ‘attacked’ by one of the other members. He basically stated that SA is a joke (but this we already knew), and that my title of ‘Lord’ was given to me and was never truly earned.

He then went on to explain that under his Master at SA he sweat and bled for his title and blah, blah, blah—going on about how my time there meant nothing, my title meant nothing, and basically saying that I was just talking out my ass about the things I feel like I did for SA and accomplished for myself at SA and/or for the Academy itself.

He wasn’t trolling…and while I put on the mask to pretend as though his words did not anger me, I know that rage is still a major weakness of mine. His words lit a fire in me and I wanted to just slap him around for being so damn rude…but rather, I merely pointed out that I was just introducing myself, telling my story, and that obviously we shared two very different opinions on things.

…so I ask you this: What is it when you have truly earned something?

I think of it this way…I know that Sith Academy lost a lot of members because there was a lot of favoritism going around. People were often inducted into the higher ranks without having to do anything more than fill out an application and Skype one of the Darths. In fact, a lot of the newer Masters that had come in only made it as a ‘Master’ because Ravenus desperately wanted teachers and people were ditching the site left and right.

Then there was the fact that (as stated before) there was favoritism going around. All of Ravenus’ Apprentices were basically guaranteed some special position of some sort, and those related to other Masters or Lords also had this same right. To this day I find that Shedra was one of the Lords who, while she did indeed do a lot of missions online, was not worthy of her title. She made the SA look bad…she attacked people without reason, constantly belittled others, tried to take control of SA and focus it solely around Dark Magicks, and then made a fool of herself trying to attack Ravenus and others because she was being demoted.
Also, rather than try and improve Sith Academy by discussing issues with the Elite Circle, she would just whine and complain without taking action, even though all she ever did was scream that no one was taking action! It made no sense. She had a temper, she never listened, she never tried to cooperate with the main body of the site, and she was handed a title because she claimed to have her own Sith Circle where she lived AND she was married to Sidonus.

While normally I would not attack people by name, her reign was one that started off as a good thing (because we needed more woman leaders and she gave me a sense of playful rivalry) and then ended in disaster and a lot of face-palming :/

Still…back to my main point.

Does the Sith Academy hand out titles to people who have yet to earn them? Yes.

Does SA have a tendency to show favoritism? Of course.

But did I earn my title there as Lord? YES!!!!

I started out at Sith Academy as a spy for my Jedi friends…I wanted to see what Sithism was and if it was really a threat to the light-side of things. But, I soon got sucked into Sithism and the dark-side because try as I might to be wholly-good, I do think that peace is a lie, I do gain power from passion, I want power, I want glory…but I also feel things like compassion, I trust in the power of words and knowledge, and I want to help others in need.

At Sith Academy, I completed my assignments and then some…I ranked past initiate. I held my cover as a man up until the last minute when both Ravenus and Imperius got me on Skype and I had no choice but to show myself…still, I was doing the meditations, I was doing the exercises, I was practicing, reading, trying to learn all that I could. I sat there on my computer for hours and would write religious reports for my group in the SA…

I was teaching others my views, I was taking on apprentices, I was recruiting around my city, I was bringing back former members via e-mail and telephone calls. I was also doing research missions for Ravenus. I was infiltrating Jedi-Temples and giving the Sith a portal-of-sorts so they could go in and explain Sithism, describe it as a threat, and basically troll the hell out of the places they entered. I only became Ravenus’ apprentice AFTER I had gained the title Lord.

Sure, I never bled for my position…yes, I was belittled by Ravenus often for my weak views, for my compassion, for being apologetic, and practically for having a vagina. All-in-all I was not whipped and chained, and made into a monster of hate in order to become a Lord of Sith Academy. Yes, I got promoted rather quickly but that is because I was willing to do the assignments given to me and do them as fast and efficiently as I could.

Just because I was not as physically exhausted and mentally abused does not make my title a gift to me and does not mean that I was let off easy…it does not mean that my claims are invalid, it does not mean that did not EARN what is mine, what I had, and etc.

A man could build a skyscraper and get a pay-raise. He earned it.
But that does not mean that the man who reads the blue prints or stands outside to monitor the working conditions does not deserve a pay-raise too. Sure, they weren’t lifting the beams or running the machines, but they still had their part to play in making that design-of-a-skyscraper a reality. They too earned something better than what they had. This is my thought on the the issue at least.

Granted, if one man is working and the other one is napping in the bathroom all day and faking being sick so he does not have to come into work in the first place—well, that is a different story. But whereas this one man sweat and bled for his title, I too had to do research, call up strangers and debate/negotiate with them. I got the weird stares as I tried to recruit others to the cause, and I had to be the first one to go into a Temple to open that gateway and door for my fellow Sith and their Army. I had to talk to Ravenus often and that in itself was torture (lol) so do not tell me that I have not earned my title and that I did not work for it.

Like Sanguinus said in response to that man: I did not come to that site flaunting my supposed-superiority over them. I did not brag about my title and demand respect from them as if they are all lowly compared to me. I merely explained where I came from, where I believe my path stands, and what the past has done to better me…and yet I get attacked because I am not worthy of the titles I now claim and own.

Venger made me Dark Lady because him and I ran SA for over a month together while Ravenus was gone in India and Imperius was MIA. Venger and I would spend hours on the telephone discussing the direction of SA, concerns that we had with the current Sith Ideology and etc. We discussed changes in policies, ways to reach out to more people, we were trying to start a radio broadcast among other things to spread the word better than any flyer could. We had plans…and we worked together to get SA up-and-running with its new system to allow only dedicated people to remain and to kick out the trolls.

So where I earned the title LORD at SA, I also earned respect enough from Venger to be admitted to the Council at TOTSO as a Dark Lady. I consider these feats, I am proud of my titles and my accomplishments, and even today I continue my studies so I can hold these titles with more pride and knowledge.

Either way…people can really piss me off. They point their finger in my face and laugh even though they are stuck on their path and I am doing my best to press forward for my own truth and enlightenment and/or endarkenment. *sigh*

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