Archive for January, 2013


Posted: January 28, 2013 in IJRS Courses

What is my purpose?

That is a question I find myself asking over and over again as the answer often eludes me. Even when it comes to the question of my Path, my purpose there also eludes me.

But, when I take the time to really sit down and think about it…while some of the things that I do, I do for others…my purposes in wanting to be Jedi and in studying the Jedi Path and way of live, my reasons are all rather selfish.

When I found the Jedi…the different Temples, the groups, and etc. I was merely looking into it as more of a social experiment. But, it was after I determined that I needed guidance in my life that it all became so much more.

I not only wanted to better myself for the sake of other people: (family, friends, and loved ones), but I also wanted control over myself…for my sake. I wanted to control my emotions, to control my thoughts, to just take control of every aspect of myself because I felt as though I was strewn all over the place at all times (and then lacked the necessary tools to bundle myself up again).

Also…I wanted a better life. Life without guidance left me without purpose…and without purpose I was hopeless and miserable.

So…why the answer eludes me is quite simple (though complicated). My purpose in becoming a Jedi was merely to find my purpose. Whether that be ultimate control over myself, whether that be to become a protector of others, whether these teachings lead me to something else more fulfilling…no one can know, not even me.

But ultimately…why I am here is because something tells me it is right. My purpose here would then be to become knowledgeable, because with knowledge I can make the choices that will place me down the right path for a better, healthier, happier, more fulfilling life.


That wasn’t so hard.


Happy New Year! (2013)


Everyone has their New Year Resolutions…and mine for the last couple of years have not really worked out so well. Generally based on Love & Relationships…I try to stay away from things like Health & Exercise because I know my chances of finding the determination and motivation to get out there and so something is…well…close to nothing.

But…last year I really surprised myself at just how much I had managed to accomplish. From going to the gym with Taz (before she left for Basic) to playing Airsoft, and then training for the Police Academy // I have done a lot more active things than I had done since 2008-2009 when I was training for the USMC Basic!

So…this year, even though it’s a rather vague Resolution, I decided that for 2013 I merely wanted to be Healthy & Happy. Not too much to ask for is it? I also said that for 2013 that I wanted to be stronger. Mentally, Emotionally, and even Physically stronger than I am right now.
So far, I have been working on a huge majority of these goals.

For instance…
I am still working with “Access Consciousness Techniques” — this will help me become stronger mentally as well as emotionally as I change myself for the better and break up that wall of negativity that has been standing behind me my whole life. Also, I may have started off the New Year rocky (as far as emotions go) due to the end of my relationship with Taz…moving on is always the hardest part, but, if it comes down to us not being able to work things out…I have accepted that maybe she isn’t what the universe had planned for me, and that I need to be more open to the possibility of meeting someone else, some new down the line and giving love another chance.

As far as physical fitness and strength goes…I missed what would have have been my last game before I leave for Germany (experiencing a new culture: ALSO opening me up for mental strength because of the learning experience). *le sad face*
I’m not sure whether I will be able to play Airsoft in Germany, but even so, I do not plan to let physical fitness go down the drain. For Christmas, my Mother bought me the boxed DVD set of “Krav Maga” that I wanted. It’s a 9-disc set that goes from beginner lessons to advanced. I also bought resistance bands to simulate weights so that I can finally define what little arm muscles I have.

Lastly, I started my free trail of martial arts this week.
Normally, I would have had 8 classes—but because I have less than 2 weeks left, that put me down to 5 classes that come with a uniform. I started today and the class kicked my ass 😦
My instructor is a 64-year-old 4th degree black-belt who will test for her 5th degree in September. From what I can see she is a very sweet and humorous woman, but she knows the importance of what she does and she wants you to reflect passion in everything you do…from counting, to kicking, to running…whew. She might as well be a Drill Sergeant.

The style that is taught in this facility is a unique blend of Taekwando (which I took as a kid), Hokkaido, and Krav Maga. Granted, I wont get to do anything more than just the basics (jabs, kicks, stances, forms, and some kickboxing / sparring). But very little bit helps, and I’m hoping it might help me better my self training when I begin Krav Maga over in Germany.

But…I just thought that maybe it was time to write an update on what I have been doing. I have not forgotten about IJRS and do not plan to give up or quit. I’m not dead *laughs*

But if you have any advice on how to help better the progress of my resolutions for 2013, I am all ears! Thanks for reading!