Understanding…

Posted: November 23, 2012 in Asking Advice?, Ranting/Venting, SITH-Related

 

So, as I have not had the time to complete my social experiment that I started (that will take some time as I still have to go through my little sister and then my best friend), I decided to go through a new little ‘experiment’ of mine.

 

As I mentioned before in a previous blog entry over “where there is light there is also the darkness”, the SITH belief is one that I do not understand, and what I actually DO understand of their lifestyle, I highly disagree with. But, as one that does not really ‘judge’ but rather just give my outwardopinion of things, I like to truly ‘understand’ the things I am opposed against, rather than just say I am for the sake of things.

 

For example, I have nothing against Christians and respect their beliefs without argument…but, personally, I find the Christian Religion to be rather silly. That is only because I was raised as such, studied it, determined it was not the correct path for me, and went about my way. I tried different divinations of Christianity before making my way into other paths…because I wanted to see that it wasn’t just my bad experiences that turned me away from the Church. I truly tried to ‘understand’ Christianity before making my opinion on it…

 

Do I bash Christians? No. Do I openly tell them that I find their Religion silly when prompted in conversation? No. Do I turn down the missionaries when they come to my door wanting to talk about their God? No…I invite them in and ask them if they would like a cup of coffee or tea. I will sit there and listen to their words and the ‘wisdom’ they have gained through their experience as missionaries because I find some of it rather fascinating…and honestly, it makes my heart happy to hear of their tales of enlightenment and discovery. I love hearing about their adventures and respect the path they have chosen for themselves.

 

But, I’m getting rather off-track…all I’m saying is that I do not look down on anyone for their personal beliefs, even if they go against my own. After all, my girlfriend is a Catholic, and that does not keep me from dating her and wanting the both of us to have a long, happy life together.

 

But, when it comes to this SITH-thing, I have such a deep opposition to it that it almost feels similiar to a well of hatred. It’s like I have a burning passion to stop this force of evil before it gets out of control and they actually become a threat to the human race along with the JEDI society. Then again, part of me says that, even though they have dark intentions…a part of me thinks that they could never become a powerful enough force to really do anything in the way of ‘taking over a society’ and all that other junk that they spew. I feel like this well of hatred comes from the fact that I have watched the Star Wars movies and easily pin SITH as people that need to be stopped no matter what the cost.

 

It’s these conflicting feelings inside me that leads me to then want to ‘understand’ them as a group, as a religion, and as a lifestyle. It’s like I merely just want to snoop around, gather information and resources so that I might share it with my other JEDI so they know what they may come up against some day. Also, a part of me just wants to snoop around to ease my own fears amd concerns over this ‘cult’ of Dark Lords.

 

Obviously, if I were to do it, I would need an alias. They do not allow women into their ranks, and they require a photo in order for one to be accepted into their group. Their rules for getting in are rather strict. as they want a lot of personal information about those wishing to join their ranks. They are only searching for those that are ‘deemed worthy’, and thus, I would have to come up with something that would really impress them.

 

*sigh* I don’t know…it’s just a thought that has been nagging at me all day. It’s the fact that I don’t know what they are up to that bothers me the most, then there is the fact that I already despise them before I have taken the time to ‘study’ them that has me all wigged out. I’m a very organized person when it comes to my system of beliefs, so, to already have made an assumption on what these people are like without really doing the research…it just does not seem right to me.

 

I guess another fear then is that maybe I might get pulled in. I may not agree with the SITH in what they stand for, but at the same time, I also know that when I was young, there was a darker side of me that took many years to surpress. Even now I still fear the demon inside me…I still fear that it lingers within the depths of my heart and mind, just waiting to be released again. I know that may sound strange to those reading this…but then again…you do not know the things that I have been through—not up to this point in my life.

 

Hm…I will sleep on it.

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Comments
  1. butchjax says:

    I understand fearing your darkness. Until you have new tools to deal with it, it doesn’t make sense to tempt it. We will work on it over time so your darkness isn’t something you fear. We have a rough roadmap that might help with various books. Once you get through personal 101 I can share that with you – and it’ll remind me to write it up instead of telling people each time.

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