Trying out “The Bubble” again…(Meditation Log)

Posted: September 21, 2012 in IJRS Courses, Meditation

I decided to try out “The Bubble” Meditation again as a little celebration over my next 2-days off from work. And needless to say, things went a little better this time, though I still feel as though I am missing something and/or not getting the “full experience” with this specific meditation.

First of all…
When the voice in the track asked me to find a place in nature, I always come back to the same place. It’s a small little opening in the woods back home, in Deming Park. I call this place,”The Devil’s Gate”. It used to be part of a garden, and it was easy to get to via a labyrinth of trails leading down a long, winding hill of stone steps. Then, when you walked across a small stone bridge that sat above a stream, then you came to this stone platform.
There seemed to be an altar in the middle of this platform, and then a small opening that sat about 3-4 feet above the platform on the other side of the altar. It’s opening was encased by an arch with a demon’s head in the center. The rest of the opening was covered by trees—thus, to me when I first stumbled upon it (at age 7), it was dubbed “The Devil’s Gate”.

I had only found that place originally because my summer camp group had gotten lost on the trails. Once I left that place, it took me 6 years to find that very same spot again, but things had changed. The Demon’s face was gone, the archway was shattered. The bridge had been destroyed and the only way to get to the altar (no vandalized) was to cross a fallen log and go around from the other side.

But this place has always been comforting to me…and only my most significant of friends are shown its location when I decide to go. So that’s what I envisioned…listening to the gurgle of the stream, the chirping of wild canaries, and envisioning the small purple clover that likes to grow within the area. I could see sun glistening through the opening of the trees and it’s warmth was accompanied by a gentle breeze. It was nice, pleasant, homey, and it felt safe.

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Then I was in a bubble of light…no longer in the forest.
For some odd reason, every time I make this bubble, the forest around me disappears, and I am in a white void. A infinite space of nothingness…just…white.
I find that, once I have made my bubble, it’s easy to feel the warmth from it, easy to expand myself within it, and easy to fill it with love and positive emotions. But…the hard part of it is leaving my physical body. I never can seem to manage what the track wants me to do. It’s when asked to release myself and have that outer-body experience that I realize that I was never in a forest, that I’m not floating in white space, but I’m on my bed…and I feel heavier than I did before.
I don’t know why my body always wakes up and loses its focus right at this point. It just does.

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But then the track mentions how love radiates in this bubble…and that my love can touch anyone or anything that I will it to. That I can be with anyone I choose, and it’s in this moment that I smile, because I think of my girlfriend: Taz.
It’s amazing to me that we are together after these two years of constant struggle, actually, it’s amazing to me that we are together at all because I always thought that she was out of my league. Looking back on that moment when I saw her on webcam and instantly lost hope of ever being able to date someone so beautiful, I chuckle because in less than six months, we will have been together for three years AND I’m moving to Germany with her. So while in this bubble…I was holding her close, I was pulling her close to me and smiling as I stroked her face and could feel the softness of her skin against my hands. While I knew that she was so far away from me in this moment…while in the bubble, it was like the image of her had become real, and if only for an instant, I got to give her a kiss and tell her how much I love her.
I think that perhaps that was my favorite part.

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And lastly we come back to the image of Wisdom.
Well…my buffalo man was back, but this time, there was more. There were other images surrounding him. Women…spirits with horns though otherwise they were all humanoid. Their mouths were agape as if screaming or even singing, but no sound escaped their lips. Their hands were crossed over their chest, and they flew from my bubble off into the void of nothingness that I’m always so trapped in.

Then the buffalo opened it’s mouth…and when I peered inside, I saw a man. His face was heavily tattooed, eyes were  a bright golden Amber, and he just gazed at me as if there was something he wanted to say but the words just would not form. And in defeat he slipped his ‘mask’ back on and became a buffalo man again.
It seems to me that when the mask is on, it functions like an animal’s face would. But at will, he can take it off to reveal his face. It seems like he was human, but then ‘promoted’ to a more ‘divine’ form with the will to change his appearance based on the need.
It’s just the vibe I got from it.

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But that about sums up tonight’s experience. I’m not sure whether I should try it one last time or just move on :/

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Comments
  1. butchjax says:

    you know, sometimes a part of a meditation isn’t useful. Dump it. I don’t recall the meditation at this moment (I’d have to look it up) but I focus on the intent. You’re already in the void, which is usually the intent in getting people to stretch out of their body. So don’t worry about that part.

    You can likely shorten the meditation at this point and do just what you feel is useful to you. Keep trying to connect to your guide. Before you meditate, try an mbo. I usually say “I request a most benevolent outcome for a beneficial meditation, where I receive any messages clearly. Thank you.” It will increase the quality of the meditation, even if it still takes months to hear anything. It’s a process, a slow process most of the time. You can read my blog from February to see my painful process. lol

    Well done!

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